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Life

02nd Nov 2018

You should never say this one simple word when fighting with your partner

Olivia Hayes

Fights always happen.

If you have a partner, then you’ll know that there’s no escaping a row or two.

Whether it’s over dirty plates in the kitchen or something more serious, there’s no denying that even the one you love the most can sometimes get on your nerves.

It happens… and most of the time you’re able to resolve things and move on.

However, it seems like there’s one simple word that you should never say when fighting with a partner – and that word is ‘should’.

Jeffrey Bernstein wrote in Psychology Today, that: “We tend to “should” all over our partners. Even if we think we’re only doing so in the privacy of our own minds, it can come out in our tone or actions.

“Thinking should about someone you love, or being on the receiving end of a ‘should,’ creates negative energy and, over time, can be toxic for any relationship, especially a loving one.”

Sometimes though it’s difficult to escape that word, but Jeffrey has a few solutions.

Instead of  ‘you should know how I feel,’ try [thinking and] saying ‘I would like you to please hear me out on this’,” he said.

“Instead of ‘you shouldn’t bring that up,’ try [thinking and] saying ‘I would like to consider what you are saying. Please let me sit with it for a little while before I respond.’”