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Life

21st Jun 2021

Opinion: It’s your wedding, you can have an ‘adults only’ day if you want

Niamh Maher

bridesmaid dress

There’s an unexpected amount of poop talk in this article.

As a recently engaged woman (humble brag in the first sentence, stay with me) I had no idea how many questions about the “big day” I would face in the first few weeks of planning. The questions come fast, thick and almost immediately. From the venue to the dress, people want to know every detail about your wedding and why not? It’s an exciting time and let’s be honest – who doesn’t love a party?

Now, don’t let my humble brag fool you, I’m no child bride. I’ll be 35 years young by the time I walk down the aisle and I feel extremely grateful to have friends and family who have children that bring so much joy to our lives. But do I want these adorable sugar monsters at my wedding?

That is the question of the day.

There’s pros and cons to most debacles in life and having children at a wedding is no different. A pro; children are adorable and brighten people’s lives with their energy and general lust for life. A con; they poop freely with little consideration of consequence (I’m aware this is age-dependent).

Such a talking point was this, that I decided to put it out to the masses and ask the faithful Her readers whether or not they thought children at weddings is a good idea. Basically, I needed help forming my own opinion so I went straight to the place where opinions flow freely, Instagram.

Thousands of you responded to our poll, check out the results below:

Over six thousand of you thought it would only enhance the big day by having children attend and over ten thousand had no interest in the concept. One reader said, “My parents had a no children policy at their weddings and I support this. Adults only,” another agreed saying, “Not sure the long day/nights is a good idea for them.”

This is a valid point, would children even enjoy a full day at a wedding? They get easily distracted at the best of times, not to mention hungry and tired, they may enjoy having a breakaway with a childminder or a relative for the night. Looking at another point, a lot of our readers insisted that children are part of the family and it would be wrong to not include them in such a momentous occasion, “Absolutely! How can you not? If they are family, you have to invite them,” proclaimed one reader. “Children exist! Just make peace with it! Hire a magician or people who can take care of them,” said another.

One of the common themes that popped up and one that I’m leaning towards for my own nuptials is the one that deals with close family. So, close cousins and family members who have children themselves seem to be an acceptable compromise. Basically, you have to know the kids or what is the actual point?

The fact is, it’s your day and personal preference must play a part in how you want to celebrate. Don’t bow down to pressure from family or do things simply for the sake of doing them, have an adult-only wedding if you want and own it! Invite the children in your life if it feels right to you, and enjoy it.

If the last year has taught us anything it’s that the unexpected can happen and if that involves diarrhoea explosions at a wedding… then so be it.