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14th May 2015
05:39pm BST
Now before we get into a debate about suffragettes and start shouting about equal pay, I think it’s important to state I believe in receiving the exact same treatment as men. With this understanding, I would have hoped that most women reading this would have agreed with me.
I know I deserve the same respect as my male colleagues and friends, and maybe it’s the sibling rivalry coming to surface, but I can definitely hold my own in a family banter match.
Ever heard the term misandrist? It’s like misogynist but for hating men instead of women. Surprised to hear me say it? Well it’s true and we need to dispel this myth first. Yes, misandrist is a word. But feminist doesn’t mean “person who hates men.” Feminist actually refers to “person who believes people should have equitable places in society regardless of their gender.”
Tying the two terms has been an unfortunate development over the years, but let’s just call a spade a spade and agree we’ve all moved on from this one…
Some feminists may be misandrists. But it’s by no means a criterion to join the club. Being a feminist doesn’t mean you blame every individual man you know for hundreds of years of oppressive behaviour. I happen to love men, their different perspectives and there’s a rumour we can’t live without them, so I’m glad we can draw a line under that.
I’m a proud feminist- there I said it. I’m also an idealist and an optimist but here’s the thing- my biggest issue with being a feminist is sometimes I’m supporting a movement that other women use as a disguise to attack free choice. Women can be their own worst enemy - demanding respect and then pulling someone else apart on their choice in clothes, make-up, career path or any other number of factors that really don’t matter.
Has feminism raised the bar so high that women are condemned to fall below it? We are all guilty of judging others, it’s part of human nature.
But when that judgement moves from real actions to jealous name-calling, it’s time to call a stop to the readily available excuse for snide digs and bitchy comments. “Her skirt is too short” or “Do you know she’s slept with 8 guys?” don’t really tell me anything about the girl you’re abusing but it does speak volumes about you.
Success is a personal challenge, but my feminist role model is my sister. She is smart, educated, loyal and master of keeping my niece happy, loved and confident in her daily duties as a stay-at-home super mum. My niece is encouraged to play with any toy, wear whatever clothes she sees fit (she currently lives in a jacket with cars and trucks emblazoned on the front) and express her interest whether that ends in dance classes or football sign ups (I will fear the safety of other parents on the pitch the day my sister takes to cheering from the sidelines).
What I respect most is that my sister has no pre-conceived ideas of how her daughter should be, and is encouraging her to find her way.
Stereotypes made feminism sound like a bad choice. The word itself has actually morphed into a meaningless label - so how can we reclaim the real value of the movement as it grows from burning bras? For me, I think it’s an exciting time for women to choose role models. From politicians to singers, actresses (*cough* J-Law and her incredible personality) to the continued professional success of women such as Amal Clooney, Hilary Clinton or Arianna Huffington. We are surrounded by smart, intelligent women who are rising to the top based on intelligence and real self-worth.
It seems to me that women have reached a point at which they felt comfortable, and then jumped ship so as not to appear ‘radical’.
From the old school connotations of an underground movement to a more liberal ‘equalist’ tag that I hear popping up in conversations – I wish women would be more open to embracing their inner feminist.
So here is my challenge. Take a week where you positively re-enforce those around you. Appreciate skills and talents, learn from mistakes and most importantly, strip away that judgement we hold on to like a shield. I think you’ll find you start coming around to this ‘feminist’ ideal yourself.
You’ll see us feminists are actually your mum, sister and best friends. All wanting to succeed, be recognised for their work and effort and continuing to work towards their ambitions.
All of these goals I’ll set for myself too - and I’ll do it to the soundtrack of my childhood obsessions - the Spice Girls.
Who doesn’t love a 90s girl power classic? (I promise to leave the platform shoes at home)
