"Every mum thinks they need to be the perfect mum."

It's thought that up to 80 percent of women experience what's known as the 'Baby Blues' after giving birth. They'll feel drained, they'll feel like crying, they'll feel more alone than they did before they had their baby. These feelings will generally pass after a few weeks, as the new mother settles into a routine, receives some much needed emotional support from her family, and recovers physically. But for 10 percent of women, they won't pass. Rather, they become worse, turning into feelings of despair, hopelessness, and an inability to cope. Some new mothers may not be able to sleep, despite being exhausted. They'll be perpetually anxious about their newborn, they won't be able to eat, and they might struggle to bond with their baby. With postnatal depression (PND) often comes feelings of embarrassment, guilt, and worry that the person might be failing as a mother. Postnatal Depression Ireland (PND) is one of the handful of charities in the country that offers support to women experiencing low moods and the feeling that they are unable to cope after the birth of their baby. The Cork charity offers support groups and less formal coffee mornings to those suffering from symptoms of PND. They have been running for 26 years and are the only group that offer a completely free service. PND's co-founder and co-ordinator Madge Fogarty says that although attitudes towards PND have changed a lot in the past 26 years, the support is still needed as much as ever.

"In my day, PND was a real taboo subject," she says. "No one talked about it, no one admitted to having counselling."

“Nowadays, the stigma is still there. It’s not as bad, but it’s still there. Women used to be worried about anyone finding out, and now they’re making the phone call for help - but some of them are still putting themselves through hell.

“People think in this day and age that PND would be obliterated, and you have to laugh. Our last support meeting was the biggest we’ve had. 26 years later and we’re still here."

When a woman presents to the charity, she usually does so through a phone call or an email. She'll say that she hasn't been feeling like herself since the birth, that she doesn't think she can cope, that she feels there's something wrong. Fogarty says that a lot of women feel guilty. Others feel embarrassed and ashamed.

“Whether or not they think they do have PND, we encourage them to talk," she says. "They talk, they listen to other people’s stories, and they can relate to it."

Rather than offering a single solution, the support group works in conjunction with GP visits. Fogarty says that they tend to stay away from the medical side of things, but if the idea of medication does arise, they can give their opinion. The support groups take place every month with less formal coffee mornings happening alongside them. The groups are comprised of mostly mothers. Partners sometimes attend, but it's likely that they'll need to stay at home to look after the child or children. Babies are not allowed in the support groups due to the potential distraction and also because some mothers attending may be experiencing their own bonding issues. Fogarty says that there are no hard and fast rules about how long or short a time a woman can spend attending.

"No one’s going to say 'Now it’s time to give up,'" she says.

"Some end up supporting other women who come. There’s no waiting lists or referrals so if a mum comes and she needs people to listen, that’s what we do. It still amazes me how many women have the courage to turn up.”

“We’re all women who have had PND," she says. "We have that in common so they can trust who they’re talking to."

When a woman goes for a checkup before giving birth, there is no guarantee that she will be given any information about PND. Similarly, after she gives birth there is no specific debriefing about postnatal depression or the possibility that she might experience it - sometimes as long as a year after she has had her baby. Fogarty says that all expectant mothers should be educated about PND. She says that 20 years ago, if a woman mentioned depression in an antenatal class, she would be told not to worry, that that wasn't something she was ever going to get. Now, however, things are different - there is more acceptance, but there still isn't enough inpatient focus on the reality of PND.

"A few years ago, I got someone to write to all of the maternity hospitals and ask what (PND) services they provide," says Fogarty. "I don’t think any of them responded."

"Women need more information, they need to know it’s a possibility. It’s an illness, it’s not something you bring on yourself. It’s a shame really that there isn’t enough being done."

"Not every bad birth leads to PND," she says, "but some of them do. And we need mothers to be informed." If you have been affected by any of the issues in this article, you can contact PND Ireland on 021 4922083 or email support@pnd.ie. Always talk to your GP first.

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November is Mental Health Month on Her, where we'll be talking to you and the experts about some of the common - and the not so common - disorders and conditions affecting women in Ireland today.  You can follow the rest of our Mental Health Month series here.  Want to get in touch? Email me at Jade@her.ie.