Scientists have discovered the peanut worm (it looks nothing like a peanut)
We're going to be mature about this.
But also - this just-discovered creature looks exactly like a dick.
Scientists exploring "deep in the Australian abyss," (yes; we lol'd at that too) stumbled across the subsequently-named peanut worm - which we feel surely deserves a more majestic title.
Like the Captain Cook Conquerer of the Seven Seas. Or the Mighty Marine Member of the Deep. Or the Oceanic Wondrous Worminator.
— IBTimes UK (@IBTimesUK) June 17, 2017
Alas, peanut worm seems to have stuck following an expedition carried out by the talented team from the Museums Victoria, Australia.
They enjoyed a month-long expedition on board research vessel The Investigator.
"Throughout the month of June, they explored one of the most inaccessible and mysterious environments on the planet – a habitat 4,000 metres below the sea known as the eastern abyss," reports ibtimes.co.uk.
Predictably, Twitter's response has been as adult-like as our own in the aftermath:
— Elaina Doré Smith (@elainadsmith) June 18, 2017
Oh my god.
Oh my god it's honest to god name is the 'Peanut Worm'
Save me. pic.twitter.com/vtHmLIEKBJ
— 💜Meredith ⚪️ McClaren 🖤 (@IniquitousFish) June 18, 2017
This is apparently a peanut worm. No. Stop. This should be called Mermaid's Toy.
"Oh mom look! A Mermaid's Toy!"
Now that sounds better. pic.twitter.com/HPR5rVAyLy
— ᏒᎾ฿ ᎠᎽᏦᎬ (@TheRobDyke) June 18, 2017
— Miguel Santos (@migs_santos) June 18, 2017
Ariel's "Dinglehopper" 😂 pic.twitter.com/MUEmesMOch
— Asia McClain Chapman (@AsiaRChapman) June 18, 2017
In a statement, Dr Tim O'Hara, the voyage's chief scientist, explained with precisely zero sniggering down the back: "Australia's deep sea environment is larger in size than the mainland, and until now, almost nothing was known about life on the abyssal plain.
"We're really excited about the discoveries that we've made and are thrilled that we can now share them with the Australian and international public."
Hear, hear, we say!