“We knew that children were sitting in camps, and that they were languishing in these horrible places…”
This is what Patricia* says first sparked her interest in becoming a foster parent with her husband Peter*. Patricia has been a social worker in a residential unit for separated children seeking asylum for the last five years.
Just over ten months ago, the couple decided to open their home and become foster parents. Having raised their own four now-adult children, the couple say it was a big step. “It can be scary and daunting, the first day I used the words ‘I want to foster’ my whole body was in a state of shock,” says Patricia.
Once they began the application process the pair underwent an assessment, including interviews, a medical assessment, and references from work and friends.
“If you’re dealing with children who are coming into your family, and they’re coming in with huge issues because they’ve been separated from their family, there is loss and separation and grief to deal with,” Patricia says, “Someone needs to know you’re sound enough and you’re stable enough to actually manage that.”
Last month, Ireland’s child and family agency TUSLA launched an appeal for carers for children seeking international protection in the country.
The government also recently announced plans to grant 500 more places for family members who are fleeing Afghanistan following the outbreak of war earlier this year. The situation is only worsening for young women and girls in particular, as new regulations imposed by the Taliban restrict girls’ education and other freedoms.
Peter says that there are some specific considerations that you must make if you are deciding to foster separated children seeking asylum. “You have to take an interest in the political situations that are happening, you do have to be really open and non-judgmental,” he says.
There are also different everyday practicalities regarding culture that also must be considered, “like food – if you have a Muslim child in your house you need to have halal food, and you need to know where to get that.”
Between 2016 and 2020, 438 separated children seeking asylum arrived in Ireland. Children under 12 years of age are placed with a foster family upon arrival. For children over the age of 16 who are in residential units, the process is a little different. They receive a type of care called ‘supported lodgings.’
Navigating different cultures can be hard at the best of times, but when caring for a child who has faced enormous trauma, it is important to have patience. “A lot of people don’t realise the desperate state they’re in,” Patricia says.
“You’ve also got to think about the attitude of some people in Ireland, and be aware that these children could be subjected to racism. You’ve got to be very aware of that, you have to prepare them and support them.”
And it’s that support that may be the most important thing for children arriving in Ireland.
“You can see [our foster child] blossom now. When she came to us first, she wouldn’t speak,” says Peter. “She was wearing a baseball cap down over her eyes and had her hoodie up.
“Now that child can come down and beam, with a big smile on her face, and play. She’s very comfortable in her own skin.”
*Some names may have been changed.
