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Life

25th Nov 2019

There’s a middle child candle with a ‘largely invisible scent’ and tbh, it hurts

Jade Hayden

Oh, she cutting.

Being the middle child sucks. It just does.

Not that I would have any direct understanding of this issue being the eldest child and therefore, the most important, but other people do and they’re incredibly good at voicing their grievances.

Word on the grapevine is that being the middle child means you get less things, you’re not listened to as much, you’re forgotten about, cast aside, left in the ball pit by accident when the rest of your siblings are removed and taken for ice cream.

Essentially, you’re invisible – and hey, now there’s a candle for that.

The ‘Middle Child Largely Invisible Scented Candle – Smells Like Who are You Again?’ is available from Always Fits and it’s just as cutting and raw as you’d expect any candle aimed at a middle child to be.

Harbouring a purple haze grape scent and a threat to: “Go ahead and dye your hair purple, no one will notice,” the candle exists for those among us who have drifted through life largely invisible, eagerly waiting for someone (anyone!) to pay them a bit of attention.

“Who are you again?” boldly asks the product description.

“The only thing worse than being unnoticed is still being unnoticed when your hair is neon pink and you dress like you’re in the Matrix.

“Um, hello? Being the first child ain’t all that. The only people who think so are #1. my older siblings and #2. my dumb parents. And I haven’t even gotten to the part about the (cry)baby of the family. Oy.”

Harsh, yeah.

The candle is, unfortunately, sold out at the moment but listen, we can only hope that it’ll be back in stock sometime soon.

Lots of under appreciated middle children out there, lads. They deserve recognition.

You can check out the candle here.