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Published 16:21 28 Jul 2019 BST
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But look, even if you're a woman who isn't all that into her docile and adorable animals (let's be honest, who wouldn't be though?), there's every chance that you'd still enjoy your stay in Newpark just as much.
Mainly because of the aforementioned spa.
Located at the back of the hotel next to the resident's gym and small infinity pool, the Escape Spa does what it says on the tin and, well, lets you escape.
With a softly lit relaxation room, a selection of fresh fruit, and an assortment of treatments and packages to chose from, it would be virtually impossible not to leave feeling at least 10x more relaxed than you were upon first entering.
The Escape Spa offers three different signature packages - platinum, golden, and silver. Each gives guests a choice between an incredible stress relieving massage, a rehydrating facial, a cleansing foot ritual, and a scalp massage.
Or, you can have all of the above depending on which package you go for.
Treat yourself. You deserve it.
Raw footage of me treating myself
As part of their spa signature packages, Newpark Hotel also include an afternoon tea, so you can chill out, relaxed to bits, with an array of deliciously small sandwiches and cakes.
Feeling ever-so-slightly worse for wear after the whole two cocktails I had had with dinner the night before (espresso martinis are never not a good idea), I went for an incredibly sensible peppermint tea.
It washed down the adorable cucumber and cream cheese sandwiches (yes, they do work, actually) and egg salads wraps, as well as the 80 or so mini cakes I definitely consumed during that sitting.
Staff had asked if we had any specific dietary requirements beforehand too; a rare enough question when it comes to afternoon tea that tends to be made up almost exclusively of salmon and ham.
And for once, the vegetarian option wasn't just cheese and bread. It's the little things, y'know?
The author was offered a complimentary stay in Newpark Hotel in exchange for a fair and honest review.
You can find out more about the hotel's spa and overnight packages here. Life
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