A bride has been labelled “crass”, “rude” and “vulgar” for asking if there’s a “polite” way to ask guests to give money as a wedding gift.
The anonymous woman explained that she and her partner “don’t want to not say anything” in case they ended up with items that were not to their taste.
She took to Mumsnet to question if there was a way to ask for cash as a wedding gift on the invites that the guests were receiving.
She wrote:
“We don’t need enough ‘stuff’s to make it worthwhile having a list.
“We don’t want to not say anything because then we will get a bunch of stuff that is not to our taste, but will feel guilty and like terrible people when we eventually give it away.
“I would feel OK about saying ‘no gifts’, but then I would never attend a wedding without taking a gift, so is that just going to end up as receiving random shite?
“Obviously a poem is beyond the pale.
“I gather the done thing is to be very coy and not mention gifts at all, and then people are supposed to contact my parents for instructions or something, but the invitations will be sent by DP and me so I don’t see that happening.
“So what is an acceptable way to say ‘we don’t need gifts and will absolutely still love you and want you at our wedding if you don’t bring one, but if you DO feel the need, please can it be money?'”
But many people were shocked at the idea of asking for money as a wedding gift – with people labelling it “rude” and “vulgar”.
One person said:
“Just say no gifts please. Anything else is vulgar.”
Another blunt person added:
“No. It’s crass.”
Someone else wrote:
“There is no polite way of asking for money.
“Say no gifts and people will give money if they want to.
“We teach our children to be grateful for any gifts they receive and not to expect anything so I don’t see why just getting married is somehow exempt from this rudeness.”
Other people were quick to disagree, saying it was “perfectly fine” for the couple to ask for money – while others said that it was easier for guests to “give money than a gift”.
One person said:
“I think it’s completely fine. I can’t understand the no information thing, it’s just polite to provide that information – why should guests have to chase down the bridal party to find out?”
Another pointed out:
“I’m in my early 30s and loads of my friends have been getting married over the past couple of years – I’ve been to more weddings than I can count.
“I sh*t you not, only one wedding DIDNT ask for cash and had the normal gift list.
“I don’t think it’s crass and as a guest it’s easier to give money than a gift.”
