As women, we are often programmed to put our own needs last. From infancy through to school and college, the words “good” and “nice” are reinforced as the ultimate praise a girl can get.
Keeping your head down, speaking when spoken to and taking on all the grunt work without complaining will earn you the “good girl” title, but there is one place it doesn’t always pay to be nice and that is the workplace.
If you are the first to arrive and the last to lock up everyday, if everyone likes you and you’ve never had a terse word with a colleague, but you still find yourself stuck in a career rut, you are probably playing too nice.
Here, we have listed the 5 things nice girls do in the office, and why you shouldn’t do them anymore.
The Nice Girl… Always plays by the rules.
The nice girl abides by the mantra “That’s the way we’ve always done it around here.” While sticking to the rulebook will get you plenty of pats on the back and certainly won’t get you into trouble, the “positively perfect in every way” act will never set you apart or make you the office star.
The Smart Girl…Thinks outside the box.
This is not about throwing caution to the wind and being the office rebel. Obviously if the office dress code is smart casual, wearing trackie bottoms is not cool and not the type of rule breaking we have in mind.
Think smart. While we certainly wouldn’t advise you undermine anyone’s authority, do try to keep an open mind when it comes to approaches and solutions to that nagging office problem.
Think what CAN be done, not what SHOULD be done, and then approach your boss politely and respectfully. If your boss gives you a task, completing it perfectly and on time is great but you can become boringly efficient. Always think “what more could I do here” rather than painting by numbers.
The Nice Girl… Gets on with everyone.
A nice girl is everybody’s best friend. She wants everyone to like her and will always put her own needs last. She often hears the phrase “ah thanks, you’re a star” and prides herself on being the one you can always rely on. She often finds her cheeks are aching at the end of a long day from that false smile that has been frozen in place for hours.
The Smart Girl….Knows that you can’t make waves without ruffling some feathers.
It’s fine to bite your tongue and take the “can’t we all just get along” approach in your personal life, but in the workplace it’s best to leave Pollyanna at the door. Worrying about whether everyone likes you all the time is definitely counter-productive when it comes to moving and shaking in the office.
The fact is, making bold moves and setting yourself apart from your peers is bound to cause friction at some point, and you might just have to grit your teeth and bear it. A good idea is to list your values in order of priority and try to always act according to this list. If getting a good cover story on a celebrity is more important to you than being best friends with that celebrity’s publicist…you know what to do.
Even though people often don’t like it, you need to speak up. Don’t expect your good work to be noticed if you are keeping your head down in order to be liked. Remember the squeaky wheel gets the grease.
The Nice Girl….Does it All.
We all want to be the girl who “does it all”. Multi-tasking is one of the most prized achievements for a woman. There is a definite oneupmanship when it comes to who can do more, who is the busiest and who has the least time to themselves. Although we often complain about trying to get it all done, there is a certain smugness associated with being the girl who is always swamped.
The Smart Girl… Delegates.
While no one should ever feel they are above grunt work, delegating and prioritising are key words that more women need to cozy up to in the workplace. There is no point having your finger in a dozen pies and having a stack of work a mile high on your desk but not blowing your boss’s socks off with any one project.
Don’t be afraid to ask for help, and don’t be afraid to prioritise something that you know you can really achieve on. Again, writing a list of values and goals can work really well in this capacity also. If you have a clear focus it will be much easier to prioritise the projects that are going to get you there.
Women also have the tendancy to overcook projects. This comes back to our need to be “perfect”. But can’t-let-go-of-it-itis can be just as damaging as handing something in that isn’t “perfect.” If you find yourself late with deadlines or frequently saying “I’m just finishing it up”, you might need to refocus your priorities and look at how you could achieve more in less time.
