Dublin mother, Lee Martin, wanted her child.
Both she and her husband desperately wanted their little boy to be born; but with three small children at home to care for how could she be expected to risk dying in order to bring him into the world?
Lee’s story of eight pregnancies, 11 foetuses, and four surviving children begins a few months before her wedding,
“I had come off the Pill as I wanted to be ready to go from day one. We just didn’t realise how easy it can happen so soon after stopping contraception! We were delighted. OK, I’d be drinking OJ in my champagne glass on the big day but hey – this was bigger.
“I miscarried at week 11. It wasn’t traumatic, I just started to bleed and cramp and by the time I got to the hospital for a scan there was nothing left. Home you go, so sorry, try again. Take these tablets they’ll help you expel everything and take some paracetamol too if you need it.
“I slept for a few days and then I got up because that’s what you do.”
© Renee SummersA short time later a second pregnancy followed the same course and despite a growing dread that they couldn’t have children the couple tried a third time,
“Third time lucky. And we were lucky, beautiful healthy baby girl born at term. I remember being constantly worried throughout that pregnancy that loss could happen at any moment and feeling that I couldn’t let go and love this child until she was in my arms.”
A year later hopes of a sibling for their daughter were dashed when pregnancy number four did not make it to term. A fifth pregnancy brought another healthy baby girl and a huge relief to Lee and her husband. The couple waited two years before trying again,
“Thirteen weeks. This one was physically tougher, it started like all the rest, cramps, bleeding, dread, disappointment, grudging acceptance. I had a D&C this time.
“I remember the surgeon accidentally knocked on the ‘hoover’ machine while I was still awake. He nearly died, he leaned over me in his gown and hairnets and said I am so sorry, and then I was out. I woke up… in a room full of women with curtains pulled around them, all crying quietly.
“A few weeks later a report revealed that what had been removed from me had been examined and suggested Trisomy 14, not compatible with life. So sorry, home you go, try again. I googled Trisomy 14 for some answers.”
Not long after, pregnancy number seven brought its own very unique complications,
“I was now officially ‘high risk’ and as such attended the Early Pregnancy Assessment Unit at five weeks to monitor the situation. It was at this visit that we discovered not one, not two, but three foetuses! Triplets! I nearly fell over with the shock.
“And apparently a good many follicles left in the ovary indicated more than 3 eggs had been released. A nurse asked me how long I had been having IVF. When I told her I hadn’t she went to get her manager: ‘Mary’. Mary had one look at my file and kindly suggested to me that a lot of women who have experienced loss like mine might be inclined to buy medication online ‘from Canadian pharmacies’ in an attempt to become pregnant quickly. One such drug is called clomid and if I would just tell her how much I’d had and for how long it would be very helpful.
“This was the first time I realised that medical professionals treat pregnant women like livestock rather than people. I was to be ‘managed’. Not taken care of. They didn’t believe me.”
Sadly two of the triplets didn’t make it and the progesterone treatment offered brought its own challenges.
“I was offered a course of progesterone in an effort to swell out my womb and encourage the other two to life. Apparently that’s what all the women on IVF get. They still didn’t believe me. Another week later another little sac gone. We were down to one. The progesterone therapy was merciless. I thought I would lose my mind.
“I had two babies at home whose mother had turned into a nervous, exhausted, aggressive monster on the edge of sanity. But that one little last one held on and another beautiful baby girl arrived at term (albeit with a slightly unhinged mother in tow).”
The years of repeated miscarriages, lack of investigation into the reasons for them, and the disbelief and apathy of healthcare professionals finally came to a head for Lee.
“They say you lose your mind after baby number three… and it is true. I was never right after the torture of nine months of hormone therapy and worry. I fainted outside the door of the EPAU on one visit because I worked myself up so much about what the scan would reveal. I had regular panic attacks at the thought of another D&C and nightmares about rooms full of curtained beds and quiet weeping.
“I started a course of antidepressants at 12 weeks postpartum and struggled for the first year to keep a lid on my sanity. But we survived. My marriage survived. The kids survived. I was changed but I survived. Mental illness is transformational. A different woman came out the other side.”
Two years later, pregnancy number eight for Lee. The foetus was healthy but mum sadly was not.
“I developed crushing headaches. Pain like I could never describe. Not migraine, I’ve had migraine, I know it, it wasn’t this. I felt I was being stabbed in the head. Off to the hospital.
“They scanned the baby and traced the baby and took blood and measurements and eventually after hours of queueing and worrying and waiting with no pain relief I was told ‘the baby is fine, you can head home’.
“The nurse who told me this actually looked like she was giving me great news – your baby is fine! You must be relieved! Um, yea I’m relieved my baby is ok but what are we going to do about the blinding pain I’m in? I’ve got three small kids at home and I can’t see? Blank stares all round. Oh, we don’t know what’s causing that – but your baby is fine. And that’s the important thing. Can I get some pain relief? Oh no, that wouldn’t be good for the baby; maybe drink some warm water.”
Lee’s husband, appalled at the lack of care for his pregnant wife asked the health care professionals to investigate the cause of Lee’s pain but was told that as the baby was ‘fine’ Lee wasn’t classed as an emergency and therefore there was nothing they could do for her. Lee and her husband made their way to the A&E of another hospital to seek care for Lee,
“A neurologist visited my bedside to explain things. Basically, we’re worried that you’ve got a bleed on your brain and this bleeding is going to cause a stroke or worse.
“We think it’s caused by high blood pressure from the pregnancy. Any questions? Yes. We have questions. If it is what we think it is and I’m only 18 weeks along can we expect this to get worse? Yes. This pregnancy is not good for you.
“OK so if we think this pregnancy is threatening my life shouldn’t we end it? Awful and all as that may be? Well now we can’t do that because right now at this moment you are not dying. Sorry? Doesn’t it make more sense to stop this now before it kills me? Yes it does. But it’s against the law, your baby has a right to live until the moment it starts to kill you; it’s not killing you now, it could, but it’s not right now.
“OK if this bleeding does start to kill me how quickly will it happen? Hard to say, but most likely pretty quickly… minutes. And then you’ll act? Yes we’ll whip you up to surgery and attempt to save your life. If there’s time.”
Lee and her husband could not believe what they were hearing, and the position they found themselves in.
“I wanted this baby so, so much. I had overcome PND and PTSD to try one more time to bring the joy of life to our family. I was willing to put up with A LOT to carry this life. And, this was our boy! We wanted this child badly. But I did not want to die in order to bring him into this world.”
Again Lee’s husband attempted to intervene with the health care providers on behalf of his wife,
“Are you telling me that she just has to sit here on a ticking time bomb, in agonising pain hoping that something doesn’t happen? That’s ridiculous we’ve got three children at home who need a mother, my wife doesn’t want to die! But you’re going to risk waiting and her and the baby dying because it has a right to life?
“Don’t get me wrong we love our baby and god knows we have endured enough loss but it’s 18 weeks it’s not viable doesn’t my wife the person who is actually BORN have some kind of right to a chance herself? We’re not talking about livestock here this is a person!”
The doctor was sympathetic and apologised but reiterated that his hands were tied by the 8th Amendment.
An MRI revealed there was a bleed on Lee’s brain. Thankfully, she responded to treatment. Despite months of continuous pain her fourth child was born healthy and without further complication. Lee and her husband, however, are still haunted by the realisation that Irish law can and does endanger the lives of pregnant Irish women.
“I had no idea the 8th Amendment could reach outside the scope of the abortion arena and also affect wanted pregnancies in such a devastating way.”
Lee Martin is a blogger, member of Parents For Choice, and campaigns for the repeal of the 8th Amendment. You can access and read her blog here.
