Sound familiar?

While it is perfectly normal and sometimes even healthy to have discussions or arguments in a relationship, some words can cut deeper than others.

"It's human nature to take things for granted. Unfortunately, the same thing happens in our intimate relationships, where we can lose sight of just how precious and special our partners are to us," said psychologist Jeffrey Bernstein.

"Following are some observations I often make in couples that come to see me for couples counselling, specifically related to letting their guard down and treating each other poorly."

In an article for Psychology Today, he explained that relationships can heal and flourish when interactions remain respectful.

However, Bernstein went on to warn that 'if the following three types of behaviours become problematic patterns, most relationships are doomed to fail'.

So, if the following three phrases are common in your conversations with your partners, it could be helpful to explore gentler ways of expressing yourself.

'You’re overreacting'

Bernstein started by describing a client whose relationship fell apart a few months after the phrase 'you're overreacting' started appearing regularly in their conversations.

“A few years ago, Lisa came to see me because she was struggling in her marriage with Aaron,” he explained.

“She said, ‘In the earlier days, Aaron would tell me he was crazy about me, but in the last couple of years, all he does is tell me I’m crazy when I try to talk to him about important things in our relationship'.

"A few months later, I received a crisis call from Aaron, whom I had only met once. Aaron begged to come in with Lisa. Lisa begrudgingly agreed to the session.

"She was ice cold to Aaron as he lay outstretched on the floor in my office. Lisa was resolute, 'I'm done!'. Their relationship was over."

'It’s no big deal'

Bernstein went on to explain that phrases such as 'it's no big deal' can come across as 'dismissive' and 'lead to your partner feeling judged'.

He also pointed out that constantly 'keeping score' of your partner's mistakes and bringing them up repeatedly can create 'resentment and power struggles'.

"Being wedded to a mental tally of things like who apologised last, initiated intimacy, or picked up around the house breeds resentment and power struggles," he added.

'You’re too sensitive'

Calling someone 'too sensitive' and then 'stonewalling' them can 'feel maddening', Bernstein claims.

"Typical stonewalling means shutting down and refusing to communicate. Given that the hallmark of any healthy relationship is the ability to have calm, constructive conversations, stonewalling does not bode well for any relationship's future," he said.