The Man should definitely not have an opinion on my clothing. Unfortunately, he seems to feel entitled to voice his disdain for whatever is the latest outlandish item I’ve just decided to dabble in (it usually involves fringing).
Sometimes I think The Men will never understand our wardrobes. Any kind of ironic clothing always usually leaves them deeply confused. Similarly, anything verging on too fashiony will invariably inspire hard eye-rolls.
Here’re 13 Items of Clothing No Man Will Ever Understand:
Our Harem Pants
The Mansplanation: “They make you look like you’re wearing a saggy nappy.”
Us: “But don’t we look kind of Sienna Miller-ish?”
Our Bras (Especially front fasteners)
The Mansplanation: “Why complicate things? Just give us your breasts. We can’t operate bras…”
Our Palazzo Pants
The Mansplanation: “Why aren’t you wearing your nice (read: skin tight) jeans???” *Whiny voice*
Our Oversized Tee Shirt Dresses
The Mansplanation: “That’s just way too big for you.”
Us: “It’s SUPPOSED to be way too big, it’s oversized…”
Our Giant Knickers
The Mansplanation: “Hideous.”
Us: “Comfy.”
Our Favourite Joggers
The Mansplanation: “Would you not even WASH them?”
Us: “Do NOT get me started on that festering towel that you rub all over your body daily and literally hasn’t been washed in the whole time I’ve known you.”
Our Flatforms
The Mansplanation: “They give you cankles…”
Us: “YOU try walking in heels.”
Virtually Anything from Cos
The Mansplanation: “Everything is just a giant, shapeless MuuMuu in unflattering colours.”
Us: “You will NEVER understand what Cos and I have together.”
Our Mum Jeans
The Mansplanation: “They don’t look good on you.”
Us: “They don’t look good on 95% of the population; that’s NOT THE POINT!”
Our Culottes
The Mansplanation: “What are you wearing? Is it a skirt? Palazzo pants?”
Us: “I barely know myself…”
Our Heels (the ones we can’t walk in)
The Man-splanation: “Why do you bother? You can’t even walk?”
Us: “F*ck knows…”
Our Playsuits
The Man-splanation: “You look like a giant baby.”
Us: “Maybe I want to look like a giant baby.”
Peplums
The Man-splanation: “They look like maternity wear.”
Us: “Yeah they kinda do…”
