We know you’ve bought a piece of clothing like this. We most definitely have bought a piece of clothing like this. It is of course the piece of clothing that looks utterly fabulous but is the most impractical thing you own.
There’s not a woman out there who hasn’t bought shoes she can’t walk in, a dress she can’t breathe in and an outfit she keeps fidgeting in.
And the most annoying thing about it is they all look so good… as long as you’re standing still of course. The changing room has to be to blame. There should be certain objects in changing rooms, say a set of stairs and a treadmill, to trial the piece of clothing before you head to the till and home with it.
There are lots of items we can think of that just scream “You look great wearing me but you’re not going to be able to do very much else.” But we have decided to bring you just five.
- The Pencil Skirt – So it’s fabulous with a shirt for the office and a blouse for a night out but it is simply impossible to walk properly in one! Pencil skirts are sophisticated and sleek but when you look like a penguin hobbling along, it sort of takes away from the whole appeal. And that’s just the walking part. Don’t even bother with the challenge of getting on a bus wearing one!
- The Bandage Dress – Yes they’re fabulous especially if you have a body like Kim Kardashian but again the simple process of walking becomes difficult. There’s the added fact that you can hardly breathe in one never mind eating a three course meal! When a size 8 feels uncomfortable wearing a bandage dress, you know it’s never a good sign.
- The Strapless Top/Dress – With strapless tops and dresses, the problem is not so much what you can’t do in them, it’s more about what you can’t stop doing in them. No matter what size of chest you have, strapless tops and dresses require a great deal of pulling up and fixing. When we say a great deal, it’s like every two minutes! On the plus side with this amount of movement, the bingo wings should be gone by the end of the night.
- The Short Skirt – In short skirts you not only have the fear of flashing someone by accident but in the summer, those chairs that stick to the back of your legs must be avoided at all costs when wearing a short skirt. And you’d be surprised at how many chairs that is! While you can arguably get around these problems by wearing tights or leggings, that in itself is an impracticality.
- The Leather Trousers – Admit it, you own a pair of leather trousers. It’s alright, we’ve all bought or at least thought about buying a pair. And we all know the fears that surround them. To clear this up, they’re all true. What happened to Ross in that episode of Friends can happen! It is possible that when you sweat you will have problems getting leather trousers both on and off. They will also most likely make embarrassing noises during the process.
And that’s all without mentioning the sky high heels and the teeny weeny handbags you can just about fit a packet of chewing gum into!
Next time we are going to resist the temptation to go to the till and bring such impractical items home. It’ll probably work… for all of 30 seconds!
