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Beauty

16th May 2017

Feel the burn: One woman used the wrong shower gel on her lady parts

Orlaith Condon

A woman has shared her horrifying, yet hilarious, story of feminine hygiene and we can feel her pain.

Posting her rant on her Facebook page, I Know, I Need To Stop Talking, the woman in question revealed just why you should be very careful with the products you use down there.

“I’d like to take you back to around 6.45am today, when I stepped into my bath and found that my usual, rather innocuous bottler of shower gel had run out,” begins her open letter to the shower gel manufacturer, Original Source.

“A tad irritating, but fortuitously, I had a solution close to hand. A brand new, unopened bottle of your very own Mint and Tea Tree Shower Gel. My bodily cleanliness was assured once more.

“I applied it first to one leg, then the other, and shaved them diligently. (Yes, feel free to be impressed at my commitment to body defoliation at that time in the morning. I was too.

“I washed my arms, neck, stomach and back. Thus far, it had been a positively first class bathing experience.”

And then everything went horribly wrong.

“My vagina was ablaze! Had a stray spark inadvertently set light to my pubic thatch? Because it f**king felt like it.

“I had a quick look at the ingredients list to see if it contained gasoline. It did not.

“’7,929 tingling leaves’ claimed the front of the bottle? Tingling? This felt as though my flaps were being ceremoniously scrubbed by ants wearing ice skates laced with chilli sauce.”

After everything was back under control, she took the time to write this letter of complaint to shower gel manufacturer. The post has been liked over 115K times… although we can’t help but think that’s a tad cruel.

“I may well be suffering from as yet unconfirmed PTSD, but my eyes have eventually stopped watering. And so, in the interest of public safety, I thought I would pen you this message.

“May I suggest a rebrand. Something along the lines of: ‘7,929 tingling leaves which will accost your genitalia until it screams for mercy.’”

We think she learned that lesson the hard way.