Nine Signs You’re Sitting In An Irish Office

Whether you work in science, business, tech or food, you can be guaranteed one thing – if you’re in an Irish office you’re part of a finely tuned routine. From making the tea, to singing along to the birthday victim, here’s how you know your desk is firmly sitting in an Irish office… The Fridge Is Always Full Of Lunchboxes…  …on Monday. By Friday the good intentions have worn off and we’re secretly hunting out the best take-away guides. Sushi anyone? The Resident Tea Maker Is Your Best Friend One good hearted soul offers to make tea, and suddenly it’s part of their job description. You won’t argue though, a cuppa is your kickstart to the day. You’ll soon adopt a ‘velvet spoon’ – i.e. making a tea without letting the spoon chink against the cup.  There’s Always Cake (Or Biscuits) Don’t even insult us by offering tea without a dipping biscuit. That’s basically sacrilegious. The Mortifying Birthday Want to stay quiet and anonymous? Good luck – there will be singing, candles, and a lopsided cake that has everyone dying to nab a slice. You wouldn’t mind if there was never a cake in sight, but this is the third ‘celebration’ this month. The Office Romance You might want to pretend that you’ve remained cool, calm and distant, but everyone who has ever walked onto that floor knows there’s some serious chemistry in the air. We all see those stolen glances from across the room. We’ll wait until the next office shindig for the relationship outing. The Sick Martyr They could be coughing up the black lung but there’s no such thing as a ‘sick day’ in an Irish office. Expect protests of being ‘grand’ while sipping Lemsip and infecting the entire workforce. There’ll be a run on every available toilet roll when those runny noses start flowing… The ‘Daddy’ Joke Connoisseur There’s always one person who reckons they’re the next breakout artist in Irish stand-up… The fact is the daddy jokes keep on rolling but you don’t have the heart to say a word. Just nod and smile. Nod and smile. Nobody Knows What Their Job Is There’s always one person who walks with a purpose… but you just wish you knew what it was. They usually send a few emails, follow up on ‘critical’ issues (that nobody is paying attention to) and ask questions that were answered a few weeks when it was first brought to your attention. You don’t know what their job is, just that they work there too. Daydream Believer Maybe it’s their first job, or maybe they have a serious grasp on optimism, but we all know the one person who stares out the window, or flicking through screens, with dreams of a bigger role or better life.   Maybe even being the boss one day... sure if that Mark Zuckerberg fella can do it, why can’t they?