“Sometimes we live vicariously through other people.”
Podcasts have long been lauded as an easy means of escape; a distraction method that doesn’t take away from the day’s menial tasks but allows us to, essentially, power down.
Couple that with the incredible desire that each and every one of us (well, me, at least) has for knowing the inner most shocking, maddening, and oftentimes unbelievable details of their friends’ hilarious sex lives, and it almost appears as if Dying For Sex might just be the perfect podcast.
Hosted by Nikki Boyer, the incredibly touching six part series details the sexual escapades of one woman who is determined to make the most out of the time she has left.
After being diagnosed with Stage 4 breast cancer, Nikki’s best friend Molly decides to leave her husband, throw caution to the wind, and seek out the sex that she wants to be having.
Her experience takes her through a myriad of dates, emotions, and of course, men, as she disregards concern and does what she wants – all curiosity, no judgement.
Nikki says that she was very prepared for people to not “get” the story. She tells Her that although she didn’t think about the response while she was recording the series, she had expected to rattle a few cages.
But as it turns out, the response to Dying For Sex has been overwhelmingly positive – and deservedly so.
“I have gotten messages on Instagram from multiple women who are going through breast cancer right now,” she says.
“They have told me that this podcast is inspiring, and allows them to laugh during their own difficult journey. One woman even mentioned that she was listening to the podcast while getting her actual chemo treatment. I got so moved by that.
“I also got another message from a gentleman who said he just lost his wife to breast cancer early last year and that this podcast is bringing him some relief.”
Nikki and Molly
One of the series’ most memorable moments comes during its second episode.
As per the podcast’s premise, Molly is relaying one particularly entertaining sexual encounter she experienced with a man she met on Bumble.
The hysterical, and almost unbelievable, story takes the listener from a local bar, to the backseat of a car, to the edge of an intricately manicured lawn.
You’ll have to listen to the episode if you’re interested in the story’s kicker (and you should be), but a truly incredible moment comes afterwards when Nikki manages to track down the guy from Bumble – Scott – and actually talk to him.
A lot of the time, when we hear a particularly comical sex story, we tend to picture the person that we don’t know as a sort of bumbling mirage – an unknowable yet exceptional human being that ends up in these kinds of hilarious situations all the time. Their personality calls for it. They are eccentric. They are so rare.
But this guy? This guy was totally normal. And of course he was. Why wouldn’t he be?
He relayed his version of events – which were pretty much the same as Molly’s save for a few intricate details – before he and Nikki had a bit of a chat about dating, not dating, and whether knowing about Molly’s health issues beforehand would have changed his experience.
And according to him, it wouldn’t have.
Nikki says that oftentimes, women’s sexuality isn’t celebrated in the way it should be.
She says that speaking to Molly about her own experiences – and eventually sharing those experiences with the world – lead to vulnerability, but they also eliminated a lot of the shame often associated with female sexuality.
“There’s something very connecting when women share their sexual escapades,” she says. “I think it’s like being at a slumber party when you’re a teenager and revealing your deepest darkest secrets.
“I also think sometimes we live vicariously through other people. Things that we may be too scared or ashamed to do, we love to hear about because then it opens our world.
“I had a little bit of judgment with Molly’s kinky escapades here and there. But now I have a much different viewpoint around it.”
Dying For Sex is a series that ultimately changes the ways that we think about sex, kinks, and, most importantly, death.
Where there was once a gap in language, an unwillingness to address what is common, there is conversation, detail, and a lot of laughter.
These things happen – so why don’t we just talk about them?
You can listen to Dying For Sex here.
