Parenthood is full of other people's questions, even though you have a million questions going around and around in your own head.
Healthcare professionals want to know how you are feeling and family members want to know how the new baby is doing. Meanwhile, curious non-mum friends grill you over every detail about the birth, bodily changes and generally anything that makes them shriek in horror.
Here are 7 gloriously ridiculous questions our non-mum friends have asked us:
1. "Any sign?"
Never mind the pressure on your bladder as you approach your due date, being asked for the umpteenth time if there is any sign of the baby when you are hauling around the equivalent of a watermelon is guaranteed to send you insane – or in to labour. At a time when you just want to be left alone to relax, everybody you’ve ever known decides to get in touch, hoping that they will be the one to catch you in the throes of labour.
2. "Did you have a natural birth?"
While some are happy to share tales of their battle wounds from the second they are wheeled out of the delivery room, for others it’s a sensitive subject. Considering that the majority of deliveries will take an unexpected turn at some point along the way – emergency c-section, ventouse, forceps – many mums who had pinned their hopes on a natural birth would rather not be forced to relive the disappointment, anger and guilt that can sometimes be felt when a birthing plan didn’t quite go to plan. Regardless of how your new baby makes it into the world, all that really matters is that you are both safe and well after the main event.
3. "How painful was giving birth on a scale of 1-10?"
In fairness, I’m not great with numbers at the best of times. But when a friend asked me this question, three days after I gave birth, I struggled to numerically translate my labour experience.
4. "When can we see the baby?"
Everybody loves a newborn baby, but a newborn baby only has eyes for Mum. Descending in droves, demanding to hold and play doll with the tiny bundle while drinking your tea and eating your biscuits, is just bad manners. If you agree to squeeze everyone into your sitting room so they can coo over the Moses basket for hours, do yourself a favour and tell them to bring a cooked meal. Or better still, point them in the direction of that mammoth pile of washing while you enjoy every second of bonding with your precious newborn.
5. "When are you due?"
Nothing wrong with being asked when your baby is due...unless you have ALREADY GIVEN BIRTH. If it’s any consolation, whoever asked this question probably feels more horrified than you do about it (hopefully).
6. "Does he/she sleep through the night?"
Ah, the old ‘sleeping through the night’ question. This is a super popular one among those who don’t have children - either because they want to know the truth about this whole sleep business before taking the plunge into parenthood themselves; or because they are just making conversation and have heard a lot of sleep-related chat. Being asked if your baby sleeps through by someone who has oodles of uninterrupted ZZZs in the bank, as you stand before them a bleary-eyed shadow of your former self, is just unforgiveable. For those who are asking purely for research, tell it to them straight: “You will never sleep again.” That’s a slight exaggeration of course, but only slight. As parents, we eventually make peace with the fact that our sleep will never quite be the same.
7. "Can they sit/crawl/walk/talk YET?"
Harmless enough until they end the sentence with "YET". The developmental question is also hugely popular with grandparents who insist that your sister/brother/auntie/uncle was a child prodigy - walking and talking at just six weeks old.
8. "When is the next one due?"
Your newborn isn’t even old enough to hold their own head up yet and people are getting carried away with themselves. Time to divert their attention to some other unfortunate soul who was acting "very broody" around your baby...
Advertorial feature brought to you by SMA® Baby Club.
The SMA® Baby Club promises to be with parents for every stumble, and step, as they discover what the journey holds from bump to birth. The SMA careline® is available 24/7 for mums (and dads) to get any help or support they need.
ZRI445/06/17.
