Five Texts You Always Get From Your Parents

Mobile phones are a wonder of the modern age. A communication tool that allows you to stay in touch and plugged in no matter what corner of the globe you're in, most of the time we think they're simply marvelous. Then we get ANOTHER text from our mother, and we think maybe the old home phone system wasn't so bad, and maybe we should switch off every once in a while. Here are five texts we have all received from a parent at one time or another... __________________________________________ Location, Location, Location The text: Where are you? The meaning: I've already called you twice and you haven't answered. You never got a bloody home phone and you won't give me the number for your work place. Never mind the fact that it's 3pm on a Tuesday and you are, without exception, at your desk at that same time every week and unable to talk. I need to KNOW that's where you are.   Food, Glorious Food The text: Will you be wanting dinner? The meaning: Cooking you a hearty meal and then complaining about slaving over a stove is the best way I have of showing you how much I love you. I'll send this text whether you're half an hour late home from work or on a plane home from a year in Australia. I just need to know that I can feed you. Food is love.   Tell Me It's All Right  The text: Are you ok? The meaning: I haven't spoken to you in hours and you haven't responded to the joke I forwarded you on from your Auntie Rita earlier. It was hilarious, so clearly you should have written back by now. Also, I learned how to forward messages. Are you ok?!   I'M NOT SHOUTING AT YOU The text: Anything at all, but all in capital letters. The meaning: I don't understand why you think I'm shouting at you. I pressed the up button and the letters changed. I don't know how to change them back, and anyway the big letters are easier to see on this tiny screen. Why do they have to make the screen so tiny?   Blame The Other One The text: Your father wants to know if... The meaning: There's nothing your father wants to know. I want to know, but he won't look at my phone so he'll never cop it that I'm shifting the blame. Result!