A mum has revealed the question she dreads to hear as a parent who lost a child.
In 2016, Susan Legg lost her five-year-old son Samuel to a car accident her whole family was involved in.
Since then, Susan and rest of the Legg family have grieved the loss of the young boy, but the mum has said that there are six words that she still dreads to hear.
They are: “How many children do you have?”
Speaking to The Mighty, counsellor Susan said that the question is so difficult because she has to change the answer depending on who she’s speaking to.
She said:
“Every mum who has lost a child knows the fear of those simple questions, ‘Do you have any kids? How many?’
“We have different ways of answering, depending on the trustworthiness of the person we’re talking to, where we are in the timeline of grief, and even how we’re feeling that day.
“Mentioning his death lands into a conversation with a dull and heavy thud. We all stare at it, uncertain of what to do next.”
Susan said that the uncomfortableness around the question comes due to the fact that so many people don’t know how to talk about death.
The mum believes that the death of a child is one of the most difficult things anybody can ever deal with because it shows people they have no control.
She said:
“Death, especially the death of a child, is a disturbing reminder that we have less control than we think over our lives.”
It’s for this reason, that Susan has decided to be open about death with the rest of her children.
The counsellor said she wants them to know that losing someone, or talking about the death of a loved one, is not “shameful or embarrassing.”
