It’s a well established fact that an Irish mammy is a gift from God. She knows EVERYTHING and she’s not afraid to impart this widsom with her offspring. From the best way to cure a cold, to knowing by heart the times for every bus bound for the Big Shmoke, there’s little this woman can’t deliver.
We also can’t help but notice that she’s now a tech addict, and is using her new lease of power to up her mammy duties. We present to you the Irish Mammy Evolution:
Your daily weather forecast: It used to be dictated by the weatherman in RTÉ, followed up with a long stare out the window in the morning and a trip out the back garden for good measure. Now she’s got the hourly update from Accuweather – and she’s going to use it. Leave the house without a coat? ARE YOU MAD? It’s going to rain at 2pm and she’s not listening to you coughing and spluttering for the whole week.
Asking for your ‘news’ updates: Or asking what’s new with your friends. How was that party you went to, with the boy who just got home from Australia? Your mammy used to take pride in being an ex-member of the Spanish inquisition. In fact, there wasn’t a boy you kissed or a fight you had that she didn’t hear about picking up her prescription on a Saturday. Now there’s Facebook, and she wants to be your friend. You can definitely see the merits – her nosing will save hours of explanations. Until she sees the pics from your study abroad. Or starts adding your friends/boyfriend. Nothing good can come of this.
Dinnertime deadlines: Everyone knows better than to be late for dinnertime. It was a sin if your seat was empty come six o’clock. If you were running late before, you’d run in the back door and slip into your place at the table, keeping eyes on the plate. Now there’s Whatsapp, and the string of reminders. We predict them to sound something like this:
Getting in your groceries: Whether you still live at home, or if you’ve long flown the coop, your mammy is guaranteed to include you in her weekly food shop. Two-for-one deals have never been so valued, and you’ve tried every type of washing powder on the market thanks to a new special offer every week. Now she can order online, and she’s just thrilled about it. She’s checking if you’ll need milk next Tuesday, and when was the last time you picked up razors. Sure she’ll put it on the list. Then ring you when the delivery man is five minutes late.
Google is the new source of medicine: Back in the day there was never a cure that didn’t involve flat 7-up and lashings of Vicks vapo-rub. Now the Irish mammy has Google, and she’s just short of certifying herself with a degree in medicine. Don’t even argue with her conclusions – Mammy is always right.
Saying that, we really couldn’t cope without them. The Mammy Evolution is just a sign that she’s here to stay. Just make sure you don’t forget to pick her up something for Mother’s Day on March 30th.
Our pals at Tesco have some gifts that might be just the treat, and will guarantee you at least first dibs on the chicken leg for Sunday dinner.
