“The Learning Curve of Becoming a First Time Mammy is About to Get Much Steeper” – Evanne Ní Chilinn and the Baby Bolt

Everyday he’s shufflin’. 

He’ll start out at my feet near the sofa, and he’ll finish up the far side of the room, with his legs stuck under the TV stand. He’ll express his discontent at how he’s come to the end of the line until someone puts him back on a track, with a clear run towards the kitchen. Séimí was rolling around some weeks ago, but he has finally started crawling. The only oddity is that he’s travelling backwards. 

I shouldn’t laugh, but the frustration on his face is a sight to behold.  

He’ll make to crawl towards a ball or a toy, and he’ll slowly get further and further away from it. 

All his mental and physical power is put into the movement, but the poor divil never gets anywhere near where he wants to go. The sound track of effort, his grunts and groans, only serve to make an amusing scene, one thats laugh out loud funny.

I’ve been warned by the public health nurse that he will take off anyday. At 7 months, she rated his muscle tone and motor skills at that of a 9 month old. And no, I’m not bragging, I’m terrified. I can only hold him still for a limited amout of time as it is, and even then, it’s like keeping a dozen wriggling snakes at bay in my arms. He’s mad for road, he’s always looking for someting to follow, and he’ll be damned if his mother is going to get in his way!

Where to start with baby proofing? Is there anything that’s regarded as overkill? Gates are a must in a house with stairs, and that’s the first item on the shopping list this week. Likewise, those clips for the kitches cabinets. But are we supposed to let our little ones topple over and bang their heads every now and then so that the coffee table teaches them a lesson? Or am I out of touch, and in danger of a visit from social services now that I’ve uttered those words?!

We could make the same argument about a baby’s immune system. If the little man drops his rice cake or his favourite sophie toy, I’ll dust it off and hand it back. Luckily he’s only been poorly once, (but that was as a result of a misguided trip to a County Final in the cold). There have been no viruses or fevers to speak of, and though he’s not in a creche, he spends plenty time around his many cousins, 4 of which are the same age, and just as suspeptible to falling foul of a baby bug.

When I was on the verge of taking my first step, Mam and Dad teased me with the car keys. The shiny silver tinkly metal strips were my bait, and I took off in their direction one day as if I had been walking all my life. The difference with my man this week, is that he is is already moving, he thinks he’s taking off towards the bait and ends up even further away from it.  Is that what happens before crawling proper begins? And how long do I have then before a baby of his nature, (wild and wired) will decide to take on the cot like it’s mount everest? 

The learning curve of becoming a first time Mammy is about to get much steeper. I just hope I can keep up with what the experts insist will be a baby Bolt in the coming weeks!

E x