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Health

17th Oct 2017

The 10 hilarious stages of nicotine withdrawal that everyone can relate to

Noirin Byrne

Have you already made a hundred-and-one pledges to quit smoking ?

Stopping cold turkey feels almost impossible and before you even begin, those nagging doubts start creeping in. Are you sure you can do it? Have you heard what happens in your first week? Then you finally do it! Time to celebrate? Not just yet…

Withdrawal symptoms probably kicked in instantaneously and the journey to becoming a better version of yourself becomes a lot more colourful.

1. You spend your first day without cigarettes pretty much immobilised.

But, you’ll be comforted to know that you aren’t really dying, just detoxing from the nicotine.

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2. Then, instant regret.

You’ve only been off them for an hour and you’re regretting your decision already. What were you thinking?

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3. The headaches are bad, really bad, and it’s impossible to focus on anything.

Cigarette withdrawal is no laughing matter and can be very debilitating for those who are suddenly without their daily dose.

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  4. The rage sets in. 

The headaches are relentless and you’ve entered full b***h mode.

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   5. But, with each passing day you’re feeling better, and less reliant on tobacco.

   Hooray!

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   6. Rebrand.

You’ve been off them a couple of weeks now and you’ve never felt better. New you, new look so time to hit the salon.

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 7. Superiority kicks in.

You smile at all the people smoking in the beer-garden, knowing that you’re so much better than they are.

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8. Food tastes amazing.

 Smokers who kick the habit often report a welcome change: food tastes way better. Not only do your tastebuds work better, but your sense of smell improves too.

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9. Welcome to the rich life! 

Quitting really does lead to a richer life in more ways than one – you are probably feeling better than ever and so is your bank balance. Money, money, money…

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10. But, old habits inevitably die hard.

Now you find yourself reaching for a cigarette after a stressful day at work. Cigarette breaks are no longer a thing of the past as you kick back to your old habits. Sigh.

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