Ah, the classic jambon.

A staple of all deli counters around Ireland, sat nestled behind its warm, protective screen, waiting to be picked up by somebody who is inevitably hungover or just in the mood for a greasy as f*ck breakfast. The jambon doesn't always have to be associated with nastiness though. Or morning food. The jambon can be fancy, gourmet, and even respectable. And you can make your own giant one from the comfort of your home too. Here's how. (This recipe uses Quorn meat strips instead of actual meat, but feel free to use the real stuff if you're any way that inclined.) Here's what you'll need:

• Puff pastry sheet (be lazy, you deserve it)
• 200g mascapone
• As much feta as your heart desires
• 1/2 red onion
• 1/2 red pepper
• 1 egg, beaten
• Quorn fajita strips
• Paprika
• Turmeric
• Hot curry powder
• Salt & pepper
• Olive oil

And here's how you whip your giant fancy jambon up: 1. Line a shallow tin with a a bit of oil and fill the bottom and the sides with raw puff pastry. Coat the sides of the pastry with a beaten egg and bake for 15 minutes at 200 degrees. 2. While the pastry is baking, cook your Quorn/meat strips in a pan on medium heat with oil, paprika, turmeric, and a small amount of hot curry powder. Add in chopped onion and peppers and sizzle until everything is cooked through and tastes delicious. 3. Mix your mascarpone and feta in a bowl with salt and pepper, and fill the pastry with the mixture once 15 minutes are up. Then layer the cooked ingredients on top and bake everything for a further 20 minutes. 4. Remove your giant jambon and eat it all, in one sitting. You deserve it.