“I Didn’t Want To Contaminate People With My Misery” – Elaine Crowley Opens Up About Mental Illness

TV3's Midday presenter, Elaine Crowley has spoken out this week about her battle with mental illness.

Crowley spoke candidly to Ryan Tubridy on RTÉ 2FM detailing how depression affected her life, and left her feeling feeling “more than ugly”.

Elaine experienced a ‘confidence crash’ earlier in the year when her weight ballooned and self-esteem plummeted, all the direct result of depression.

The presenter, calling referred to herself as a, “professional yo-yo dieter”, admitted that media coverage of her body’s shape and critical commentary did cause her pain. “Criticism does hurt when you’re in that frame of mind,” she said.

“I am me, I am not skinny, I am not grossly obese, I am a normal sized woman.”

Crowley could manage her television presenting role, but would not socialise outside work hours. 

The 36-year-old presenter accepted that Irish women are obsessed with body image and weight, so her appearance in papers didn't shock her, but the critcism did hurt. 

Clinically diagnosed with a condition called, ‘dysphoria’, earlier this year, Crowley joked with Ryan that she was “born melancholy”, explaining that her mood has always been slightly lower than an average person.

A symptom of Crowley’s depression, which many women across the globe can relate to, is ‘emotional eating’. The television presenter revealed she ate to “fill a void”.

“When I become depressed my symptom is to pile on the weight, because I don’t go out, I’m not socialising, I’m sitting on the coach and I’m eating.”

Elaine on the IFTA red carpet at the beginning of the year.

Crowley admitted during her lowest period that she pushed friends and loved ones away, in a bid not to “contaminate” other people.

“I didn’t want to contaminate people wth my misery,” she said, drawing comparisons between herself and the Dementors in fictional books, Harry Potter.

“Instead of draining their joy, I’ll just keep away from them until I’m fixed.”

Elaine finally faced her demons, and visited a Psychiatrist for the first time this year. “Psychiatrist, the word is scary”, she said. “It means maybe I have something chronic, maybe I have something I have to deal with for the rest of my life”.

“If you break your leg you go to the doctor”, Crowley told Ryan, “there is help out there if you look for it”.

“I wish I did it years ago,” she added.

Crowley finished the interview with Tubridy by touching on the cruelty and the stigma that surrounds the topic and attached to those who suffer from a mental illness. 

“The more people to speak out and make it normal, the better it will be for everybody who is going through something that are afraid to speak out.”

 

Listen to interview live here.

 

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