Breastfeeding, in public, is a personal choice any woman should make for herself.
Covered, uncovered, in private, or in the open.
Nobody should feel uncomfortable, shamed or dictated to by the choices they make in feeding their child.
So when one mum was being stared at and made to feel self-conscious by another diner, she decided to take a stand against the discrimination for all the mothers out there.
Ashley Kaidel was sitting in a restaurant when she realised it was time to feed her son.
Uncovering her breast, her boy was feeding when she noticed a woman from across the room staring at her.
So she did what any mother should feel they have the right to do.
She stared back.
In a Facebook post that has since gone viral, Ashley said that although she might look like she’s looking off into the distance, she had her eyes focused solely on the one woman trying to make her feel shame.
The post in full reads:
‘Earlier today I posted this picture of my son and I breastfeeding uncovered in a public restaurant. In the picture, it appears I'm staring off into the distance. In reality, I'm staring into the eyes of a woman staring at me. She is looking at me with disgust and shaking her head with judgement in an attempt to shame me and indirectly tell me without words that I am wrong and need to cover myself.
Let me make my reasoning clear on why I post pictures of my son and I publicly breastfeeding uncovered.
I don't mean to say "Everyone should breast feed without a cover. Show the world your boobs!" If a mother is more comfortable covering herself because SHE feels better doing so, then I totally support that.
With that being said, the reason I post these types pictures is for the mother that tried breastfeeding uncovered once and she got shamed, she got stared and pointed at, she got nasty comments, she got asked to leave the room, she got asked to cover up.
Number one, breast feeding mothers are protected under federal law to breast feed any way, any how and any where they're allowed to be in all circumstances otherwise. Number two, you should not ever feel shamed, belittled, embarrassed or wrong for feeding your baby the way nature intended. I do this for the person that has the mentality "Boobs are to be covered. They're for your husbands eyes only. They're intimate. It's a personal/private thing to feed your baby. Cover up out of respect. My kids don't need to see that. Walk out of the room." and any other derogatory, close minded comments and sentiments alike.
Again, breasts were made to sustain your baby's life before they were made to bring pleasure to any other man, woman, partner or spouse. Their sole purpose is to make food and dispense it straight into a baby's mouth. There is nothing weird about this and there's no difference in me feeding my baby with my breast than you feeding yourself with a spoon.
Secondly, it is exponentially unfair and selfish to ask a mother and baby to exclude themselves from a table or event or gathering because you're for some reason uncomfortable with how she feeds her child. No person should be isolated and shunned because they're eating, especially when you yourself are eating while ridiculing how someone else is eating. Is it not certainly easier to avert your eyes from a displeasing sight rather than suggest or demand a mother and child remove themselves from your presence? How pompous and selfish is this? Just look away. It's simple to do so. No harm done at all.
Lastly, your children need to see breastfeeding for the same reason you do. They need to acknowledge, comprehend and appreciate that breast milk and breast feeding is and should forever be the first and best choice for both mom and baby. Formula and bottles are a trend. Breastfeeding is not. Your 11 year old daughter watching me nurse may say "Mom, why is that baby sucking her boobie?" But as a parent and human being that understands, respects and appreciates anatomy and mothers, your reply should only and always be "because that's the way babies eat." Hopefully it encourages your daughter to grow up with the goal to breast feed and experience the incredible bond and invaluable benefits it comes with.
So again, I don't post this for attention. I don't post this because I think everyone should nurse uncovered. I post this to give mamas encouragement. And to encourage others to make breastfeeding mothers feel accepted and supported; not alienated, ridiculed and judged.
Signed,
a badass breastfeeding (uncovered) mama.’
We couldn’t agree more – Ashley you’re a badass.
And totally entitled to what’s right for you AND your child.
