10 ways to distract yourself while your housemate is having sex 3 years ago

10 ways to distract yourself while your housemate is having sex

The joys of sharing your living space with another human.

Living with housemates is brilliant, it has huge advantages and a few pitfalls along the way. On the plus side; there is ALWAYS teabags in the house, on the negative; from time to time, you'll have to listen to them have sex.

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Sex is a perfectly natural form of expression, it is a wondrous thing... if you're getting it. If you're not have no fear, we've compiled a list of beautifully creative ways to occupy yourself while your housemate has all the fun.

  • Finally start writing that erotic novel - If you always felt that you have the means to write a dirty novel, this background noise could provide the perfect atmosphere.

 

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  • Have a silent disco in your bedroom - Get those wireless headphones on and dance to your hearts content, we recommend anything that has a hefty beat to drown out any unneccesary rhythms.

 

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  • Catch up on your night-time gardening - To be fair we never do it during the day... so maybe it's best if you grab a torch and get those fingers nice and green.

 

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  • Take up the bagpipes - We just think this would be gas.
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  • Listen to your favourite podcast - If you're stealthy you'll start to figure out a pattern, it could be a Tuesday or maybe a Thursday (it's never a Monday). We recommend co-ordinating your favourite podcast with sex night, The Capital B is our current 'must listen'. Nothing better than a business podcast from the JOE boys to make you forget about all the sex you're not having.
  • Skype Australia - We all know someone there, and by this time of night it's their breakfast hour... PERFECT skype timing.

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  • Eat something really crunchy - You could be healthy with an apple, or make yourself feel better with a big ol' bag of crisps.

 

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  • Make a smoothie - You'll get the added bonus of annoying everyone in the house, smoothies are LOUD.
  • Watch a kids movie -  Any one will do, but blare it loud enough so they feel guilty about their chosen activity.

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  • Hop on Tinder - because if you can't beat 'em.

 

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