Ah, the old work Christmas party.
Ostensibly, a night out to celebrate all our hard work all year and boost our spirits ahead of the festive period.
In reality, however, it is much more likely to end up with an epic hangover and serious case of The Fear.
A few of these definitely happened at your Christmas bash…
Someone will be very late
There’s always one person who turns up an hour after they’re supposed to… leaving everyone else to hit the bar on an empty stomach. Such a good idea.
The organiser will insist on everyone getting into the festive cheer
You know the one. They turn up with tinsel around their neck and are trying to encourage a festive singalong by the end of the starter.
There is never enough food to balance out the alcohol
Whether it’s a finger food buffet or a three-course meal, trying to line your stomach is futile. Especially since those three glasses of pre-dinner wine have ruined your appetite.
Someone will take ridiculous advantage of the free bar
As adults, we should all be able to have some self-control when it comes to a free supply of alcohol but someone always loses the battle. They’ll be the one shouting ‘shots!’ every two minutes and can usually be found slumped in the corner by 11.30pm.
You’ll see a different side to your colleagues
There’ll be an inappropriate flirtation
Where there is alcohol, there tends to be blurred lines and this can often lead to one of the non-so-single members of the team looking a little too cosy with the new intern…
There’ll be a sneaky snog
Cheatin’ deserves a beatin’ but if you’re unattached then there’s no greater place to get the shift than at the Christmas party. It could end in an office romance or a few red faces the following day but sure, it’s all part of the craic…
There’ll be words
In every office, there’s one or two people who don’t get on or a pair who are feuding over a stolen stapler. Chances are, it’s going to boil over once the booze starts flowing…
Also, FYI – tackling your boss for a chat about that raise after a few pints is NEVER a good idea.
The bathroom will play host to a few tearful declarations
I loooove you so much. I totally didn’t mean to accuse you on stealing the stapler. It was probably that wagon Mary. I love you so much, you’re my besssst friend. I mean it. I’m not just saying it cos I’m drunk.”
One of the Kris Kringle choices will cause offence
Buying presents for each other, what a lovely way to encourage team bonding and have a laugh… right? Wrong. That jokey ‘One Night Stand’ kit from Ann Summers may have seemed hilarious at the time, but now Nicola is throwing more side-eye than Kate Middleton.<
Hello, wardrobe malfunction
Everyone wants to look their best for the big night out, but someone always fails to check if their chosen outfit passes the dancefloor test.
You may have looked like a lady during dinner, but everyone got to know you a little TOO well during Crazy In Love
There’ll be a mammoth gossip session
The gossip the day after is almost as good as the party itself. Especially if you managed to get home without embarrassing yourself. Shure, there’s a first time for everything!
