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15th December 2015
05:31pm GMT

5. Back in my day if we didn't like someone, we'd tell them.
6. Well, you do a great impression of someone that got over 400 points in the Leaving.
7. You're big enough and ugly enough to look after yourself now.
8. I got a lot of food in because I knew you were coming.
9. Lucky for you, it's all about the personality these days.
10. If you were mine, I would've clipped you round the ear long ago.
11. Still living at home at your age, people will wonder...
12. Sometimes I give the dog a bit of a kick, does him no harm.
13. I'd say she hasn't long left in her now, she'll be lucky to see Christmas.
14. Aren't you built grand and sturdy?
15. What colour is your hair at all?
16. Well, I'm glad you didn't go tidying the house just for me.
17. I could be dead tomorrow, so hop up there and make me a cup of tea.
18. What's your name again? I haven't time to be remembering all of you.
19. Those new neighbours go to the 'other' church.
20. I'm telling you, the dog is definitely gay.

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