Enda Kenny has asked President Higgins to dissolve the Dáil.
That’s all well and good, Taoiseach, but there’s more urgent things that need to be dissolved in the year of our Lord 2016 here in Ireland.
I’ve drafted a list of things that Enda Kenny also needs to request to be dissolved, as he is an avid reader of this publication so we stand a good chance of this happening.
1. Solpadeine Interrogation
2. Dublin Bus not accepting notes
3. Restaurants not splitting the bill
4. Mrs. Brown’s Boys
5. Jedward
6. Smug holiday Instagram posts
7. Netflix region blocks
8. The Leaving Cert
9. Quinoa
10. Flat 7 Up’s alleged healing properties
11. Gender inequality
12. The CAO
13. Hangovers
14. Phone batteries that last approximately 12 minutes
15. Hand luggage liquid separation
16. Mouth breathers
17. TOWIE
18. People younger than you being successful
19. Girls that can perfect the messy bun
20. Crystal Swing
21. Dark chocolate
