#AgonyCant I have no control of my mood the days before I get my period 4 years ago

#AgonyCant I have no control of my mood the days before I get my period

agony can't

"For the few days before my period I am completely unreasonable and cranky.


"I'll use any excuse for an argument, mostly with my poor boyfriend. We're 10 years together and we are the best of friends, but some months I just push him away for about 2-3 days. He can do nothing right.

"I know I'm just being moody and hormonal, but I can't control it. Is there anything I can do or take?"

Let's start off by saying that it's totally OK and acceptable to be a bit more irritable and cranky in the lead up to your period.

Premenstrual Syndrome, or PMS, is something that the vast majority of us are going to experience month-on-month until the time we stop menstruating and, unfortunately for us, feeling a bit shit does just sort of come with the package.


No one can really say for certain why PMS happens (who needs to put money into researching women's healthcare, eh?), but the mood swings are most likely caused by rising levels of oestrogen as ovulation comes to an end.

These emotional shifts affect about 80 percent of us, but they usually tend to calm down once our periods actually come.

There are a good few things that people do to combat these mood swings - exercising, avoiding alcohol and sugar, cutting down on caffeine - but if your symptoms are particularly severe, chances are a few natural remedies might not really do all that much.

Not being able to control our moods can be a scary feeling, especially if the severity of these moods is seriously affecting how we live our lives.


And if pushing your boyfriend away and being extremely irritable is something that you really can't be dealing with, there are a couple of other steps you can take to try and regulate how you're feeling.

Studies have shown that taking calcium supplements can alleviate some of the symptoms of PMS like bloating and fatigue, while vitamin B and D (taken as supplements or through foods like meat, lentils, and spinach) have also been proven to reduce many of the negative reactions.

Before making any major changes to your lifestyle or what you're putting into your body though, it's always good to check with your doctor - especially when it comes to hormonal issues.


You could have to switch birth control, your serotonin levels might be particularly low, or your symptoms could be a sign of something a bit more serious.

While PMS is something that a considerable number of us face in the lead up to our periods, there are other less common, more serious conditions that some women experience.

Premenstrual Dysphoric Disorder (PDD) is a condition that causes people to become severely depressed, anxious, and irritated in the weeks leading up to their periods.

The disorder affects between three and seven percent of menstruating women and although its symptoms are often mistaken for regular PMS, PDD is included on the American Psychiatric Association's list of mental illnesses. So it's a bit more severe.


If the extent of your mood swings rests at unreasonable and cranky rather than severely depressed though, PDD likely isn't something that you need to be worrying about... but it is worth being aware of the more intense ways that our bodies can react to things like menstruation and changing hormone levels.

Still though, you're the only one who knows whether your mood swings are too much for you to handle.

If pushing your boyfriend away for a few days every couple of months is just a mild irritance and he's not that bothered by it, then pumping some iron, drinking some herbal tea, and avoiding sugar might do wonders for your PMS.

If the emotional shifts are more intense though and you're finding that they have a serious negative impact on your life and your relationships, it's definitely worth going to see your GP.

PMS is normal yeah, but that doesn't mean it should be ruining our lives.

You can learn more about the symptoms and different treatments of PMS here. 

Worried about going on a first date with someone new? Got some lad onto you who won't take the hint? Are you being ghosted, breadcrumbed, or some other new form of dating trend? Just need somewhere to vent about everything that's wrong with your love life? Same, to be honest.

Don't worry though because at Her we've been there, we are still there, and we can maybe even give you some decent advice. At the end of the day, #ShiftHappens to all of us. 

Send all questions here or email Jade@her.ie. All submissions will be published anonymously.