“For years my parents told me that my oldest brother Matthew was on holidays.”

An Irish journalist, Niamh O’Donohue, has shared a powerful and insightful documentary about how her brother’s addiction has impacted his position in society.

My brother is 5months gone today. Spare a thought for anyone battling addiction. Help them, don't criminalise them - https://t.co/VTrRTE90yh

— Niamh O'Donoghue (@CulturedCuppa) November 3, 2016

Niamh explains that she grew up in a standard middle class home with her parents and three brothers. She says that many of her friends questioned that she actually had a third brother, Matthew, because he was so frequently away. What Niamh didn’t realise until her teens, was that Matthew was a drug addict who frequented prison. In the documentary, it is revealed that Matthew was abuse by a neighbour from the age of 10-13. Matthew turned to crime and drug abuse, resulting in him being incarcerated. “I wasn’t just a bad fucking penny,” says Matthew in the documentary. “But there were excuses to why I had that hatred.” He explains that he had so much anger he spent his time in prison imagining revenge he would enact on his abuser. The hatred and anger Matthew felt manifested as violent behavior. He explains that robbing and mugging people gave him a sense of control. In the piece, Matthew reflects on the crimes he committed. He understands the effect of his crimes. “That man I robbed could be still effected.” “In college I robbed about 600 people. That’s 600 people I could have mentally fucked up.” Matthew explains that after various stints in jail from 17 to 27, he ended up on probation and had to attend The Bridge Project twice a week for two years. Matthew explains that that system was counter-productive.

He was a brother, a son, a partner, an innocent child, & a corrupt adult, but he was #NotAJunkie. It's time to change how we treat addiction pic.twitter.com/WnnNkeQ5V6 — Niamh O'Donoghue (@CulturedCuppa) November 3, 2016

Despite being clean and sober at the time, the requirement for him to attend the project inevitably resulted in his relapse. Fir years after leaving jail, Matthew explains that every day he wished he could return. He says that even the simple act of going to the shop and buying something can be overwhelming. “I know people that have gotten out of jail at Mountjoy and gone into the corner shop and robbed it to get straight back into jail because there’s nothing out here except homelessness and drugs for them and that’s sad. So fucking sad.” Niamh explains that Matthew was kept on Methadone and she struggled to accept this as she disassociated her brother from the addicts on the street. Matthew describes his addiction as a defect and that underneath it all he was just a fucked up little kid. Heavy with regret, Matthew describes how 20 minutes after his daughter was born, he was in the hospital robbing a bracelet off a sleeping man. Niamh says the decision to produce the documentary came from curiosity and the opportunity to change how people see addicts. “I knew he was using drugs, but it wasn't until I was in my late teens that u learned the full extent of it. Nonetheless I never thought of him as a junkie you would see on the street. He was my big brother! It hurt me knowing that that's how people saw him, so I decided to make this documentary to show that there was a lot more to Matthew than meets the eye. He was a kind and gentle soul with dreams and aspirations - granted he looked a bit rough around he edged - and unfortunately because of how we treat addicts here he never got the chance to live his life,” writes Niamh. To escape drugs, Matthew decided to leave Ireland. Matthew’s partner Marie and his mother bought him a one-way ticket to England. Matthew fell back into the grips of drugs and in June of this year, Niamh shared more of the story through Humans of Dublin.  "Prior to his death, he had been an in-patient of a mental institution. When he left the hospital he was prescribed prescription after prescription of muscle relaxants and sleeping tablets. Where is the logic and responsibility in giving an active drug-user prescribed medication to numb his feelings? I’m angry at the system, and the way in which thousands of people like Matthew are treated. Nobody chooses to become an addict; you don’t wake up one morning and decide that your life is going to be dictated by a substance, and this is something that I struggled to understand for a long time. Prior to knowing my brother's story, I would have been quick to turn a blind eye at a homeless person or an addict on the street. How about trying this next time you see a homeless person or an addict on the street: instead of passing comment or judgement, why not think for a second that that person is someone’s sibling, loved one, and child. It’s time that we, as a society change, our perceptions of addiction, start treating addiction properly, and start saving lives," she said.  Niamh now pleads with people to look beyond addition. "I originally blamed myself for not doing enough to help him deal with his addiction," says Niamh. "In fact, society let him down. He was criminalised and punished where he should have been receiving help for his addiction and mental health issues. It's time that we start dealing with addiction as a national health issue as opposed to automatically criminalising users."