Elephant in The (Bed)Room: How to Deal With a Boring Sex Life

When you’ve been with your other half for a long time, it can be hard to confess that you’re finding your sex life a little bit, well, boring.

The idea of admitting to your boyfriend or husband that you’re not enjoying all his sweet, sweet moves in the sack is pretty much mortifying. However, the good news is that you’re not along. Going through hot and cold periods in the boudoir is just part of being in a normal, healthy relationship. But how should you go about heating up your ailing love life again?

Here are five ways to help you switch things up, make a few changes and start having a better intimate relationship with your man.

If you want to boost your physical intimacy it's important to spend time together outside the bedroom

1. Your taste changes: It’s important to remember that as a woman, your sexual tastes will change over time. If you’ve been with your man for years upon years, what worked for you back in 2008 probably isn’t working for you right now. You need to communicate your needs with your partner so he understands and knows how to please you. Have an honest chat about what you like and what you don’t like – he’ll thank you for it, trust us.

2. Choose your words carefully: Despite what they like us to believe, deep down men are fragile, fragile things and abruptly criticising his sexual technique will result in some hurt feelings and (most likely) a fight of epic proportions. Never accuse him of doing something wrong. Instead, encourage him when he does something right. So if he tries a new move that you love, tell him. And if he tries something you hate, approach it in the following manner: “I like that, but I REALLY love it when you do this (explain what you want).”

3. Build intimacy in other areas of your relationship: Do more things together. Spend time talking to your partner and engaging with him. Building a level of intimacy outside of the bedroom will help the two of you to feel more connected and in sync when you get back into the bedroom at a later date.

4. Get some experience: As a couple, try to have as many new experiences together as possible. This will help to keep all areas of your life new and exciting. Anything that feels different is a definite do – so instead of going shopping like you normally would on a Saturday, why not visit an adventure centre or go horse riding for a change? Likewise, stop thinking that the bedroom is the only place that you can have fun in. Break out of your old routines and try something new. Your relationship (and your sex life!) will benefit as a result.

5. Don’t avoid sex: If you’re frustrated with your sex life, the worst thing you can do is avoid it completely. Confess your feelings to your partner as early as possible, this will stop any fights or hard feelings in the long term.