Some emojis are utterly ridiculous.
At what point are you going to need to use a graphic to describe a bunsen burner or a coffin? These seem like words that could just be typed. Although, bizarrely, sometimes it’s strangely comforting to know that they’re there.
I’ve put together some proposed emojis that I believe would best serve humanity in 2016. It’s unlikely that they’ll ever be top priority in terms of use, but maybe, someday, they’ll find their place.
Liam From One Direction’s Birthmark Emoji
Truthfully, barely a day goes by when I’m not texting friends about Liam’s gorgeous little mole. Life would be a lot easier if I had a go-to emoji to save my poor hands from all those unnecessary strokes.
Laminator Emoji
This can also be used as a sick burn during a text fight. Sending the laminator emoji lets your friend know that should be encased in plastic and not touched for 10 seconds until they’ve cooled down.
Morgan Freeman’s Freckles Emoji
Morgan Freeman’s freckles are adorable and I would like to be reincarnated as one. Why has humanity been deprived of this emoji for so long? It is a disgrace.
Toenail Clipper Emoji
This nifty emoji was actually omitted from Apple’s emoji drafts for 2016 on the grounds that 1 in 5 people could not successfully identify the object. Despicable.
Tambourine Emoji
Make sweet sweet music through the medium of emoji instruments. There’s already a microphone, violin, saxophone and half of Mumford and Sons, so why the heck not?
Coldsore Emoji
Shout out to Megan from the Her.ie team who had a cold sore recently and I had to manually Photoshop a cold sore onto her photo LIKE AN ANIMAL.
Unimpressed Shania Twain Emoji
As we know, very little impresses Shania. The ultimate sassy reply to a friend proposing stupid plans would be the unimpressed Shania Twain emoji and it needs to happen immediately.
Freddo Emoji
If possible, I’d like to use the Freddo emoji to raise awareness of the fact that Freddos are disgracefully overpriced in this day and age and that something needs to be done.
Morbeg Emoji
Another household reference, Morbegs are long overdue reaching emoji status. They’ve put in the hard work and now it’s time for that to pay off.
Toilet Roll Emoji
The sole use for the toilet roll emoji would ultimately fall to the bitchy housemate WhatsApp conversations but it would do wonders for lightening the mood and keeping everyone calm.
