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25th April 2016
07:28pm BST

Me: Yeah, definitely! Was there any trouble with yourself or any other forms last night?
CF: I heard a few horror stories alright, a form in Blackrock was being filled in on the kitchen table, but when they went to turn the back page, they noticed it had been resting in a white wine reduction sauce leftover from the dinner. As you can imagine, pandemonium ensued! The Mum wiped it with a damp cloth immediately, while the eldest grabbed a hairdryer. Several harrowing minutes later it was dry, but some of the answers were, unfortunately, illegible.
Me: Jesus, that's scary. You wouldn't wish that on your mortal enemy! Cen, if I can get personal. What do you do between censuses? Have you a family?
CF: I don't have a family, not yet anyway. To be honest, I'm looking to settle down. At the end of the day, I'm looking for love. It's hard to balance a relationship with having to work for one evening every five years. How do people do it? Lately, I've been trying out a few dating apps and I've even been working on my chat up lines. Do you want to hear some?
Me: Absolutely.
CF: Babe, I'm no psychologist, but I can make you come to your Census.
Me: Christ.
CF: Another one?
Me: Go on so...
CF: Hey gorgeous, if you don't do me, you'll face a fine of up to €44,000.
Me: That's loads actually, thanks. C'mere, Cen, have you any hobbies?
CF: Sure! I'm really into music, I LOVE Craig David. Favourite song is obviously Fill Me In. Other than that, I like most things, going for dinner, socialising with friends, heavily monitoring the population of Ireland and going for long walks. I've recently gotten into Sudokus, they're brilliant. So challenging.
Me: I both see and deeply respect what you did there.
CF: Lol.
Me: Final question, Cen. Is there any question that you haven't included, but would like to?
CF: Great question! There is, actually. I'd love to ask people what their favourite yoghurt is. I think it's important that we get a sense (excuse the pun) of what our nation's inhabitants are looking for in their bacterial fermentation of milk. I'd pop that question right in the middle, to give them a break from all the serious stuff and just get to know the taste buds of our beautiful country.
Me: Census, it's been an absolute pleasure pal. I hope all the data is correlated properly over the coming months and you might even chat to us again next time round!
CF: Absolutely. Ciara, it's been a pleasure! Thanks for coming to your Census.