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4th March 2013
05:20pm GMT

5. Rosary Beads
You had your travel rosary beads, and you had your fancy rosary beads. And boy, were your fancy rosary beads fancy. But then, you saw that girl who had beads that looked like diamonds and yours were pearls. Good lord, the strop.
6. Frilly socks
Let’s face it, if you didn’t have frilly socks, you might as well go home.
7. Jealousy
There you were, picked reader, fancy rosary beads, heading in the door of the church with your proud-as-punch parents but then what’s that? That girl has an umbrella! And gloves! WITH BOWS! Where are your gloves with bows? Oh, you’ll be speaking to someone about this later.
8. The Special One for the day
The best use of your Holy Communion, however, was being the special one in the family for the day. Boy, you could get away with almost anything. Inevitably this led to your mother pulling you aside and saying: “If you EVER embarrass me like that in public again...” But sure, what did you care? No one is going to make a little girl cry on her communion. Winning.
9. The Meal
Well, you were so excited you could be sick, but you were still dragged to a really nice restaurant that was so packed with little angels, you’d swear it was the Second Coming. Despite the fact that you could pretty much order anything on the menu, all you wanted was the dessert, which your mother was secretly having a conniption about.
10. Visits
To be fair, you were pretty tired at this stage. You had walked the church catwalk, been paraded outside, gone through an intense photo shoot and now you were being hauled from house to house to visit your entire extended family. Most of whom you didn’t see all year anyway...
11. Money
Those visits really paid off though. While you were off torturing your cousins or showing off your rosary beads, your parents were beginning a secret collection of funds. That night when you got home, exhausted from the day, you were presented with what you considered a small fortune. Holy God, the possibilities...
12. Showing off your dress
You were warned to keep the dress clean for several occasions, firstly because you would be walking into every class in the school the next day to show off your guna. Suddenly, this event is starting to lose its appeal...
13. Putting your dress on for Mass the following Sunday
Outing number three for the dress. Yes, it wasn’t enough that nearly the whole town has seen your lovely white dress, now you had to don the outfit again for Mass on Sunday. Sometimes, even for the rest of that month.
14. Holy Communion or Christmas Angel?
Oh, wasn’t your mother secretly delighted you were cast as an angel in the school play. Out came the dress again. By the end of the year, you were glad you were growing out of the bloody thing.