How to get out of the house on weekends with a baby in 36 'simple' steps 2 years ago

How to get out of the house on weekends with a baby in 36 'simple' steps

Brought to you by Aptamil Follow On Milk Ready to Drink.

Anyone who has ever had a baby will know how things that previously seemed like the easiest thing in the world all of a sudden require the same amount of planning and precision as a wedding.

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I mean; remember the days when you could toss your wallet and phone in your bag and skip out the door? Those were the days.

Now; with a baby in tow, even managing to get as far as your local deli or supermarket can seem a task on par with climbing a mountain or something equally strenuous.

However, should you feel like getting out of the house with your little one this weekend – we have rounded up an easy peasy guide for how you can manage just that – in 37 gloriously oh-how-we-can-all-relate steps:

1. Decide you are doing it – you are leaving the house – yay!

2. Heart-palpitations over how on earth you are going to manage to bring everything you might need – and the baby!

3. Add about an hour to your normal getting ready time – and then some.

4. Jump in the shower (baby snoozing peacefully in their bouncer right outside the bathroom door).

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5. Turn water on.

6. "Wait! Is that the baby crying?!"

7. Turn water off.

8. Climb out of shower, dripping water everywhere. Worry you might catch pneumonia from this.

9. Check on baby – still fast asleep.

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10. Get back in the shower.

11. Repeat step #6.

12. Repeat step #7.

13. Repeat step #8 (only this time you hurry so much you almost slip on the wet floor and swear loudly!).

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14. Repeat step #9 (seriously; were those phantom cries?!).

15. Finally; back in the shower.

16. Contemplate washing hair, but fear this will take too long and baby will definitively wake and start crying.

17. Mum Bun it is –  again. (Marvel at how your pre-kid self never realised what a luxury having time to wash your hair really is).

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18. Get dressed as fast as humanly possibly and marvel again at your own speed (and lack of care for what top matches your bottoms – this, you figure, was a pre-baby dilemma you no longer have the time or energy for).

19. Take about three times as long picking your baby's outfit.

20. Stare at them for five minutes wondering if it really is all sorts of insane to wake a sleeping baby to dress them.

21. Wake them.

22. Realise (too late!) that it was indeed insane to wake a sleeping baby.

23. Pace floor with howling baby while also trying to throw things you might need into the nappy bag.

24. Conclude you need a bigger nappy bag (or, briefly wonder if you really need three outfit changes, six soothers, baby sunglasses and seven million muslin squares to go to the park...?).

25. Decide you can't risk it and bring everything just in case.

26. "WHY WON'T YOU STOP CRYING?! WE ARE GOING TO THE PARK!"

27. Maybe they're just hungry – quick; feed them.

28. Realise he/she was hungry and get comfortable – sure the park will still be there when they are finished.

29. Jolt awake by baby screaming again – make a mental note to go to bed early tonight.

30. Dress baby, get your own jacket on – and shoes – nearly there now mama!

31. Feel baby's nappy and realise it is so wet, pee is now seeping through four layers of clothes.

32. Remove your own jacket and shoes, undress baby, change nappy and dress all over again – in record time.

33. Spend 16 minutes trying to find your keys, wallet and sunglasses – only to realise they have been in the nappy bag all along. Briefly wonder if you are developing early onset dementia.

34. Put baby in pram, rocking it like a crazy woman so they won't start bawling while you put on your shoes and jacket again.

35. Go outside the front door – and realise it is lashing rain and all of a sudden you don't really feel much like leaving the house after all. Just think of how cosy curling up on the sofa for the day with your baby would be...

36. Admit defeat and head back in – sure there is always next weekend!

Brought to you by Aptamil Follow On Milk Ready to Drink

Don't stress about making and packing lots of Follow On Milk bottles for your little one when you are out and about. Aptamil Follow On Milk Ready to Drink products are available in a variety of different formats and are really handy to use while you're on the go.