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Hate Your Ex In The Run-Up To Valentine’s Day? This Is JUST The Revenge You Need…

Published 13:28 27 Jan 2015 GMT

Updated 13:39 27 Jan 2015 GMT

Her

Hate Your Ex In The Run-Up To Valentine’s Day? This Is JUST The Revenge You Need…

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If you’re still a little bitter about the ex that broke your heart, we might have just the answer for you. There’s no need to feel rejected this Valentine’s Day – thanks to San Francisco Zoo’s unique gifting idea. For the price of a small donation, you can now adopt one of their scorpions or hissing cockroach's in your ex's name. Because chances are you might want him to feel a sting, or even better, realise he’s a bit of a creature (bitter, us? Never). San Francisco Zoo’s adopt a critter programme even outline some of the finer details behind their theory: “… so the latest affair didn't work out and given your ex's record-breaking ability to move on, you suspect foul play. Well, nothing soothes the sting like the adoption of a giant hairy scorpion in honor of your former beloved. It's no surprise, these invertebrates are aggressive, active, and alarmingly nocturnal. Much like your low-life ex, they are usually found in and around low-elevation valleys where they dig elaborate burrows or "caves."

For $50, you’ll be able to send the namesake of your choice a certificate and a teddy scorpion so he can never forget. Not prepared to splash that much cash on your revenge, then the $25 option for a hissing cockroach adoption might be just the answer: “The hissing cockroach is one of the largest species of cockroach, reaching 2–4 inches at maturity, but as we all know, some cockroaches just never seem to grow up." So if the love bug has bitten you in the ass, it might be time to think about becoming an adoptive parent to a critter.

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