“He’s Stalking Me!” Upset Woman Reports a Pigeon to the Local Police Force

Now, we all know that pigeons can be a bit annoying, but we can honestly say that we’ve never reported one to the police. Unlike this woman.

German newspaper The Local reports that a woman from the western German town of Darmstadt has called the police because she claims she is getting “stalked” by a pigeon. Yes, this is a real news story. We promise.

The woman told officers on Monday that the pigeon had been following her non-stop for the past three weeks. The woman claims that the “strange bird” had been hanging around her garden constantly and seemed to be looking for some kind of “familial connection.”

According to the woman, who has not be named,  every time she opened her door the pigeon would immediately fly into her house. Her attempts to get the pigeon to leave failed miserably and, in a fit of frustration, she got her grandson to shoot a water pistol at the bird (this also had no effect on the unwanted visitor).

Apparently even when the woman managed to chase the pigeon out of her home, it would sit on a nearby branch and wait for the next opportunity to get into the house.

Stalker, stalker! The woman claimed the pigeon was tormenting her

The woman told police that the pigeon was frustrating her and every time it got into the house it would “leave traces that no good housewife would want in her home.”

Unsurprisingly, police officers were unable to help the woman but did recommend that she seek the help of a pigeon fancier or an animal psychologist.

However, the story has a happy/sad ending, depending on how you look at it. Before she went to the professionals for help, the woman tried one last time to get rid of the bird. Whatever she did worked because according to the police report written up on the incident “this time the bird received a clear ‘dismissal’ and flapped off on its own.”