How NOT To Impress: Man Stages Bizarre Fake Knife Attack In Order To Woo His Date

Dear men of the world, here’s a lesson in how NOT to impress a lady when you take her out on a first date. An American man’s attempts at wooing the object of his affections went horribly wrong after the police became involved in the knife attack he had staged.

Yes, you read that right: the knife attack he had staged. Allow us to explain...

The Irish Independent is reporting that Jeffery Tyler Siegel took his date, Brianne Coots, to the Craighead Forest Park in Arkansas for a romantic walk as part of the couple’s first date together. However, what Brianne didn’t know was that Jeffery had arranged for his friend to launch a staged knife attack against them.

Apparently Jeffery thought that if he overpowered the ‘attacker’ he’d look like a hero and majorly impress Brianne.

As the couple walked through the woods, Jeffery’s friend leapt out of the bushes brandishing a massive knife. The plan backfired when Brianna ran screaming from the woods and left Jeffery behind with his friend.

In order to make the attack look more convincing, Jeffery inflicted wounds on himself with the knife.

The park where the staged attack took place

While all of this was going down in the woods, Brianne had got in contact with the police and told them what had happened. The police arrived on the scene and became suspicious when they saw Jeffery’s wounds. Eventually Jeffery broke down and told officers the truth.

“I was definitely very upset. If you want to impress somebody, impress them with the good stuff you can do, I mean you could buy people flowers, have a good job, have a good education,” said Jeffery, speaking to the local media.

We’ll admit that we weren’t exactly shocked when Brianna has said that she has no plans to go on a second date with Jeffery.