It Wasn’t Me! Eight Times You’ve Definitely Blamed Somebody Else

The first Friday the 13th of the year is national Blame Someone Else today. Not a noble act, but a damn handy one when you've done wrong. You might as well admit it, you've taken that low road more than once. Here are eight times you probably took advantage of a friend or foe and lay the blame elsewhere. ____________________________________________ The time there was no milk left for the tea You left enough for an ant-sized cup of tea in the bottom, so you put the carton back in the fridge after making your Casper-hued cuppa. Your colleagues won’t thank you though, so you huff and puff loudly and glare at Dave in accounting when the next person goes to the fridge. How inconsiderate of him, you say with your eyes. The time the smell made everyone feel awkward As the saying goes, everybody poops. However, there’s no saying that covers everybody admitting to the poop. If you’ve had to use a communal bathroom at a dodgy tummy time and the evidence lingers in the air, it’s totally ok to blame someone else. The time you left the dishes in the sink Step one: make sure no housemates are home when you slyly bring down the collection of cups and dishes festering in your room. Step two: share a knowing nod with housemate one and two when housemate three walks in with a single other cup. See? See how she adds to the load? What a dirty mare. The time you got lost and your driving was to blame You’re not a terrible driver who missed the turn. No! Instead, your front seat passenger is the WORST. They were supposed to be following Google maps. Never mind that you drive this road once a week and you actually had her on radio duty. “This is my soooooong!”    The time you definitely didn’t send a birthday card Stupid postal service. That one in the local Post Office looks a bit shifty. It’s such a shame! I sent you a lovely card. I bought it in Marks and Spencer. I swear. The time you definitely didn’t send an email Oh you didn’t get that? My emails have been acting up all week. I’ve actually gotten on to IT support, but they keep just telling me to turn my computer off and turn it on again. The time you broke your mother’s vase It was your sister. Or your brother. Siblings are the perfect get out of jail free card for as long as you all live under the same roof. The time you were late even though there was no traffic No traffic? There was a thirty-minute jam on my road! Pretty sure there was an accident actually, I saw the guy who caused it. A tiny one though, so it won’t be on the news or anything. Don’t go looking for it.