Let Yourself Off The Hook: These Gym-Goers Are The Real Reasons We Stick To The Couch

Be it ‘The Grunter’, ‘The Hogger’, ‘The Princess’ or ‘The Nudist’ … these are the ten people that we just can’t stand at the gym…

Is it any wonder that we decide to stay at home and comfort ourselves in front of the television...?

The Grunter

The person who grunts, moans and sighs with every body movement. Not at all necessary. If we wanted to hear noises like that we’d head to Wimbledon for a summer session of grunting.

The Princess

The girl who struts around the gym in her teeny-weeny sports gear, leaning against machines trying to drink her water as seductively as possible. Short of pouring it down her front, she seems to be succeeding in putting on a mini x-rated show for anyone who wants to watch. Cut it out and get on a machine woman!

The Nudist

We accept some peoples’ habit of wandering around the changing room nude. It just gets a little uncomfortable when they have their leg up on the bench beside you moisturising their inner thigh…

The Judgmental One

This is the one who waits behind you while you bust out the last few moves on the step machine. Nothing spells out awkward as much as them judging your red face, wheezy breath and sweaty armpits, while they stand their cool-faced ready to double your workout.

The Vain One

The girl who comes to the gym caked in makeup. Enough said.

The Hogger

The person who stays at the one machine for hours on end… and half of those hours are spent stretching, drinking water and walking around the machine looking it up and down with a ‘I’ll get you this time’ expression on their face.

The One Who Gets Too Close

There’s enough space for everyone to put a mat down on the ground and stretch. We can only wonder why someone would choose to put their mat right beside us when we’re surrounded by twenty feet of empty space.

The Spitter

The people who think it’s completely acceptable to spit as they walk around the gym. We’ve witnessed it, it does happen and it makes us feel more than a little sick.

The Magician

This is the one that does their disappearing act. The machine will be ‘occupied’, their water will be beside it, their towel on top, but nobody has seen them in half an hour? What’s the protocol here?

The Unhygienic One

The person who makes us feel queasy… whether it’s the lack of deodorant, the smell of stale body odour or the evidence of someone having shaved in the shower, we just can’t handle it…