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Life

13th Feb 2014

Loved Up: The Seven Stages of Valentine’s Day

Which Valentine's Day are you having this year?

Her

Whether you’re a diehard romantic or a committed cynic, Valentine’s Day is an undeniable fixture on the calendar and, depending on your status, can unleash a flurry of emotions ranging from irritation to infatuation. 

Chances are, you’ve been through most of these stages at some point!

1) Hope floats

One of the most enduring emotions experienced in the run-up to Valentine’s is the potent mix of fear/hope/terror that is caused by having a crush. Whether it’s wondering if that hottie in Fifth Year will send you a card or if your long-time friend will finally realise he’s in love with you, a crush is guaranteed to cause the most exhausting and excruciating Valentine’s ever.

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2) Unrequited misery

You’ve spent hours flirting in the canteen, making eye contact in meetings and having deep, wonderful conversations on office nights out, so surely he’ll use V-Day as an opportunity to finally ask you out, right? No. Instead, he crushes your heart into tiny pieces by breezily mentioning that he’s whisking his new girlfriend away for the weekend during your routine morning coffee. Ouch.

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3) Independent woman

As the old saying goes, no-one can love you if you don’t love yourself. Who needs a guy when you can buy yourself a new handbag, order in a nice takeaway to avoid all the smug couples and wear those cosy flannel pyjamas that your mother bought you for Christmas. Which, incidentally, are much comfier than a lace negligee from Brown Thomas. Take that, Cupid!

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4) Back on the horse

You’ve finally found him. A cute, well adjusted guy who seems to like you and has taken you on two very successful dates. But just as you are enjoying the first flushes of love, Valentine’s comes along to rain on your parade. Are you a couple? Should you get him something? If you profess your feeling in a mushy card, will you scare him off and send him running for the hills? Too many questions!

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5) Dating disappointment

Having survived the first year of dating, your hopes are high on the run-in to Feburary 14th. Gone are the days of the meal for one and instead, the new-found love of your life will surprise you with an amazing plan and you will win at life. Or he will show up an hour late with a plastic rose and a card that he has contributed nothing to apart from ‘Dear X’ and ‘Love, Me’. At least it said love though, right?

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6) Partner perfect

You’ve wised up to the cheapskate charmer and upgraded to a new and improved model who delivers the cookie-cutter Valentine’s Day and the ideal that we are supposed to aspire to. Nice dinner, thoughtful present, kept your flatmates up all night by celebrating how mad you are about each other. Check you out.

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7) Relationship resignation

It turns out that after years of beating yourself up about not having a Hollywood-worthy display every February that you don’t really care after all. You have a nice fella that cooks you dinner when you’re working late, listens to you moan when your friends are annoying you and generally make you happy and calm just by being there. So why would you trek into town when you can just order Dominos and have a box-set marathon?

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