Is your sex life feeling a little lacklustre or, dare we say it, boring? Problems in the bedroom are aplenty in Ireland but most of us are too embarrassed to talk about them and to try and seek some help.

Her at Her.ie we believe that every woman is entitled to have fun, loving and fulfilling sex life and if there’s an issue, it’s always best to tackle it head on rather than ignoring it.

According to relationship experts there are four mistakes that the vast majority of couples make which can lead to problems in their sex lives. Here’s what they are and how you can avoid making the same slip-ups.

It's important to keep the lines of communication open in your relationship

Mistake #1: Expecting your lover to read your mind
In any relationship it’s important to realise that your partner is not a mind reader and that we’re all different when it comes to what we like when we’re in bed. Relationship experts advise that you should be specific with your partner. If they’re doing something you don’t like, give them a little direction – just make sure you do it in a loving way.

If you don’t tell your partner when it just isn’t working for you, the two of you will be unhappy. Remember: in a loving relationship both parties want to please each other. If he’s lost tell him what to do. Wouldn’t you like him to tell you if you were doing something he didn’t like?

Mistake #2: Being passive
There’s a common misconception that when it comes to sex, it’s the man who has to initiate it all the time. Relationship experts say that the mark of a good relationship is one where both parties take turns when it comes to initiating sex.

Remember: men like to be seduced too. Don’t wait for him to make the first  move, be daring and do it yourself. You’ll be glad you did.

Mistake #3: Making a big deal if your partner does not want sex
If you fancy getting down and dirty but your partner doesn’t feel like it the worst thing you can do is turn it into a big deal. Believe it or not, men (like women) don’t always want sex.

Men are entitled to have their off days and to feel stressed, tired or just generally not in the mood for it. Instead of getting upset or angry, simply offer some cuddles. Treat him how you would like to be treated if the situation was reversed.

Mistake #4: Having big relationship talks directly after sex
After sex you’re usually loved up and feel really connected to your other half (we know how it is). Because you’re so connected, you might feel that this is the right time to bring up subjects like commitment, your future together or the fact that you want to have his babies.

Relationship experts say that you should never discuss important topics directly after sex. Why? Well firstly, it’s a major turn-off. Secondly, your man is drifting off into sleepyland. Thirdly, your brain has just been altered by the surge of feel-good hormones you got during your orgasm. The bottom line? Just enjoy the moment and save any important conversations for later.