Not Tonight Honey: The Simple Things That Could Be Wrecking Your Sex Drive

The older you get, the more you realise that your sex drive is a fragile thing. Some days, it’s absolutely insatiable and other days? Well... not so much.

When our sex drive disappears our default reaction is to immediately panic about the future of our relationships. If we don’t feel any kind of desire for our partner does this mean that our relationship is doomed? Does it mean that there’s something amiss? Does it mean that we would be better off alone?

The good news is that it’s completely natural for your desire to ebb and flow and it happens to every single one of us at some point in time.

So why aren’t you feeling frisky? Here are a few things that might be putting a dampener on you bedroom shenanigans...

Tiredness can leave you feeling cranky, sluggish and miserable

Tiredness: Are you having trouble sleeping? We all know that tiredness can wreak havoc on our day-to-day lives, so just imagine the kind of impact that it can have on your sex life. Tiredness makes us sluggish, destroys our concentration and, dare we say it, makes us incredibly cranky. When we’re tired we sort of just want to be left alone.

How many hours sleep are you getting every single night? The solution to this problem could be as simple as heading to bed an hour early for a few nights or, if you’re having serious trouble nodding off, taking a trip to your GP.

Eating too much food: Eating is never a bad thing however, if you’re eating the wrong kinds of food it can have a negative impact on your waistline and your sex life. A diet that’s full of saturated fat could clog artries and leave you feeling sluggish, bloated and seriously unsexy.

Remedy the problem by boosting your fruit and veggie intake and getting a little more exercise. Your desire should come back pronto.

Stress can make you feel upset, sick and generally unwell

Stress: In various surveys done over the past few years, stress has become a common reason for a lack of sexual desire. Stress makes it hard for us to switch off, let go and simply enjoy ourselves in the bedroom. If you think that your sex drive may have disappeared due to stress, try winding down after work with a nice, hot bath or a session at the gym (exercise is proven to help lower stress levels).

If you’re still feeling wound up, it might be worth finding someone that you can talk to about your problems. Rememeber: a problem shared is a problem halved. Maybe you just need to vent to a friend in order to feel better?

Anemia: Due to our periods, us women are prone to developing Anemia. Anemia occurs when there isn’t enough red blood cells or hemoglobin in your bloodstream. The main symptoms of it are tiredness, being very pale and just generally feeling like you’ve been drained of all your energy. Understandably, it can also affect your sex life.

The good news is that if you think you may be suffering from it, a simple blood test and an over-the-counter iron supplement may be all you need to get you back on track. Visit your GP and explain your symptoms and they’ll be able to help you.

Maybe it's time you had a chat with your other half about how you're feeling?

Your relationship: We all hate to admit that there’s a problem in our relationship, but if your desire just isn’t there anymore (and you’ve ruled out other potential desire dampeners) maybe it’s time you sat down and had a chat with your partner.

Explain how you feel and try to figure out how you can bring the passion back into your relationship. It may be something as simple as having a weekend away together or trying something new in the bedroom. Either way, tell your partner what you’re going through. Ignoring the issue will just make things worse.