‘Ghosting’ seems like the stupidest thing in the world.
For those of you who aren’t aware, ‘ghosting’ is effectively a way of breaking up a relationship by ignoring the person you’re dating until they stop communicating with you.
The ‘ghoster’ decides they do not want to see the ‘ghostee’ romantically any more so stops all communication with the ‘ghostee’ in the hopes that they’ll realise… The relationship is over.
It’s cruel, but unfortunately, very much a real thing.
One 28-year-old woman on Reddit has shared her account of being broken up with via ghosting by her boyfriend of a year and a half.
She begins to explain that she and her boyfriend had a holiday planned…
“So my boyfriend and I for the past couple months had been planning a big trip to South East Asia for my birthday. We’ve been trying to plan a trip for awhile (since we both have insanely different schedules) and were looking forward to the break and adventure.
“Shortly before we were supposed to leave he had a quick trip home (which he warned me about well in advanced) and the very last thing he said to me face-to-face was “Don’t worry about trip, everything will work out, I promise.”
While he was at home, she began to doubt whether their big trip was still going ahead.
“While he was away we had been casually texting daily. About five days before we were supposed to leave I shoot him a text to try and meet up to discuss details – didn’t hear anything back. The next day I try texting and ask if he’s back in town yet.
“The day after I try calling (surprise he didn’t pick up) and finally by the last day I realize my attempts to initiate contact are futile. By then my texts had ranged from “Hey, which suitcase should I start packing?” to “Hi, it’s okay if you want to break up or just not go on this trip at all – but could you please just talk to me?”
As she gets no replies to her pleas for communication, she begins to realise that he is simply ignoring her.
“I see on social media he’s hanging out with bros down in his hometown. I stupidly even try to contact one bro to see if he was even aware we had this trip planned in the first place and if could get him to get in touch with me (obviously this didn’t work, probably shouldn’t have done that but I was panicking and in a lot of pain)
“I end up scrambling around last minute to rearrange things to spend some time with old friends on the other side of the coast, which was very restorative. On my birthday he sent me a single text “Happy Birthday!” with the party horn emoji (an emoji for christ’s sake) that’s the only form of communication I’ve had from him apart from a couple arbitrary instagram likes.”
She has since come to the awful realisation that their relationship is over, but is still understandably confused about what went wrong.
“Not that I support ghosting in most any situation, but we had been dating for a year and a half, I’ve met his family multiple times and have spent holidays with them. As with many serious relationships half of my belongings are at his place – which I so conveniently don’t have keys to.
“It’s been about a month since this has all transpired and I’m still waiting to hear from him about when I can collect my belongings. I’m still very hurt and very confused and I realize I might never get an explanation for why he did what he did. It’s really sad and shitty.”
She explains that she’s left items in his house that she’s worried she will never see again, with no way of gaining access to his apartment.
“I’m also starting now to worry that he might never contact me to let me over to collect my stuff. He’s the only person with a key in a high security apartment (with unfortunately no doorman I can sing my sob-story to) and he sublets so his name isn’t even on the lease. Are there any legal actions I can take? I hope it doesn’t go that far but I really want to start building my life back.
“Also if he does try to initiate contact how do I communicate with someone who so blatantly just left everything? I feel such an urge to talk to him but I have absolutely nothing to say. How do you reason with yourself that someone you were so incredibly close to just left like “no big deal.” It really hurts.”
Have you ever been ‘ghosted’ by a boyfriend/girlfriend?
— Her.ie (@Herdotie) October 3, 2016
According to surveys, 80% of millennials have had their relationships finished by the means of ‘ghosting’ – what would you do in her situation?
