When it comes to dating, my motto is: "Let him chase you until you catch him".  This, for me, sums it up. First off, let me make it clear that I am speaking about heterosexual relationships, because that's what I have experience of. I am sure the dynamics in a same-sex relationship are different. Let me also make it clear that when it comes to the workplace, I am all about equality and I am all about women being assertive and strong in that domain - of course. However, when it comes to dating, I believe a completely different set of rules apply. When it comes to technology, we are progressing exponentially, which affects gender politics in the workplace, at home and of course on the dating scene. The online dating craze has made a whole new jungle out of the already complex relationship web. It's all pokes, emojis, swiping and skyping - but we have to remember at the heart of it, dating is one of the most basic, instinctive things we do. Now that women are kicking ass in the workplace, leaning in and making their voices heard, the risk and reality is that we are applying the same principles in our dating lives. And in my opinion, that just doesn't work. Recently, a friend told me about one of her colleagues who is absolutely killing it career wise. She is a powerful woman, but what she wants most in the world is someone to share her success with. She uses the same principles in the workplace as she does with dating and can't understand why she's getting nowhere. Recently, she saw a man in a club that was completely her type. She didn't speak to him first, but she DID make a beeline for him, position herself beside him at the bar and did loads of hair swinging and laughing to get his attention. Eventually, she did, and he spoke to her. They chatted for ten minutes and he made a polite excuse and left without asking for her number. She knew his name and where he worked, so convinced herself that it would be perfectly fine to be proactive and add him on Facebook. He accepted the invite, but never contacted her. Again, she took the bull by the horns, just like she would in the boardroom, and mailed him. He never replied. She convinced herself that he hadn't seen it, that he wasn't big on Facebook, that he maybe didn't recognise her from the bar. When he didn't reply to the second mail, she finally got the picture and felt disappointed, embarrassed and hurt. In my opinion, the first mistake was placing herself in his eyeline. Yes, she got chatting to him but it inevitably ended in heartache. Not to mention the fact that she may have dissuaded the lovely lad who WAS interested in her and would have approached had she not made a beeline for the wrong guy. Biologically, men are built to hunt and pursue, they WANT to chase, they want to feel challenged and they place more value on prizes that they had to work to get. Many women feel they are being assertive, proactive and confident when they make the first move, but it's just not for me. Anecdotally, I've see this play out over and over again. More often than not, the best relationships I know start with the "boy pursues girl" prototype. Of course there are exceptions to the rules and we've all heard the stories over cocktails - "Well, my friend Elaine walked straight up to a lad she saw at the bar and asked him out and now they're engaged". Of course it happens, but it's rare.   I just feel that there is ALWAYS going to be a reason he didn't approach you first. Whether that reason is he already has a girlfriend, he's not looking for a relationship, or he just plain doesn't fancy you THAT much, the reason will come back to bite you both. Even shy men find a way to approach the girl they really like. Men aren't as complicated as we sometimes wish they were. We project our hopes onto their behaviours when in fact, I feel taking their actions at face value is much more productive. Now that every moment of our lives is documented on Facebook, Twitter, Snapchat and Instagram, maintaining any element of mystery is harder than ever. The least we can do, is cool off, let the guy take the lead and "let him chase you until you catch him." If he doesn't, he wasn't for you in the first place.