Oh Twitter, we love you so – especially when you come up with hilarious trends, like the ever-popular ‘#ThingsNotToSayAfterSex.’
We all know that sometimes the moments post-coitus can be a little, well, awkward. What should you do? What should you say? More importantly, what shouldn’t you say?
Don’t worry ladies, Twitter has got you covered (figuratively, not literally). Of all the gems the #ThingsNotToSayAfterSex hash tag has thrown up over the past few months, here are the ten most hilarious answers we’ve seen.
10. “Thanks for that, now how much do I owe you?” We’re not sure how we’d react if a fella ever said this to us post-embrace, but we’re fairly our actions would involve a swift kick to the you-know-where. God only knows how he’d react if we said this this to him!
9. “Hmm…I thought YOU had the keys to the handcuffs…” If reading Fifty Shades of Grey has taught us anything, it’s to always keep the keys where you can see them. Always.
8. “Thank god that was over quick, Homeland starts in a minute!” If you come out with something like this directly after bumping uglies with your man, we can guarantee that you’ll be watching Homeland alone.
7. “That was great. I’ve just got to send a Tweet…” Ah social networking. It brings people together, rips relationships to shreds and drives people apart. If you do have to send a tweet we recommend exiting the room and sneakily doing it in the bathroom. Just don’t tweet about your sexploits. We beg you!
6. “Was that it?” Ouch. Words fail with this one…
It’s usually best to keep all words after sex relatively positive
5. “Well…at least your ego was big,” Insulting, offensive and, dare we admit it, pretty funny! Could you even imagine how a man would react if you said this to him? Thankfully we’re not that cruel.
4. “Again? I barely stayed awake the first time!” Even if you have had the longest, most hectic day in the history of all time, never say this directly after sex. It won’t end well. Trust us.
3. “We definitely made a baby that time!” Want to see what a terrified man looks like? Simply utter these words and watch all colour drain from his face (yes, even if you’re in a relationship chances are he’ll be shaken by such a comment).
2. “You’re almost as good as your best friend,” Insinuating that you’ve slept with his BFF is never cool and (even if you actually have) it’s probably better to talk about it at some other time…
1. “Well…I’ll give you an A for effort!” The male ego is a fragile, fragile thing. Hearing something like this directly after sex is likely to shatter his into a thousand tiny pieces. Don’t say we didn’t warn you.
