Remembering Dermot Morgan – Sixteen Of Ted’s Best Quotes From Father Ted

On this day, February 28th, in 1998, we lost one of our most talented comedians and the power house from the best show to ever emerge from Ireland, the irreplaceable Dermot Morgan.  With that, we thought we would include sixteen of our favourite Father Ted quotes from Father Ted and boy, there are really a lot of them. RIP Dermot, you are sincerely missed. 1. The Eurovision Meltdown JUST PLAY THE F***ING NOTE!!! 2. The Burn "Dougal, how did you get into the church in the first place? Was it, like, 'collect 12 crisp packets and become a priest?" 3. Perhaps the most famous quote of all... "Now concentrate this time, Dougal. These are very small; those are far away..." 4. The Emergency Situation. "What am I doing on the fecking wheel!!!" 5. The Lazarus Theory. "So there he is. Risen from the dead. Like that fella.... E.T." 6. The Animal Theory "Sheep, like all wool-bearing animals, instinctively travel north, where it's colder, and they won't be so stuffy." 7. The Defence "I'm not a fascist. I'm a priest. Fascists dress up in black and tell people what to do. Whereas priests... More drink?" 8. That Image. Ted: So... let me get this straight. You were up on an old man, riding him around and whipping him. For an hour. Dougal: Yes. Ted: You realise that image will stay with me for the rest of my life? 9. The Egg. Dougal: I'll have them Mrs Doyle. I love egg. In fact sometimes I think I'm going to turn into a big giant egg. Ted: I think that process has already begun. 10. The Hitler Comment. Ted: His note from the bishop said they never really found a suitable place for him... he's not a very nice man, is he? Dougal: God, Ted. I've never met anyone like him anywhere... who would he be like - Hitler or one of those mad fellas. Ted: Oh, worse than Hitler. You wouldn't find Hitler playing jungle music at 3 o'clock in the morning. 11. Conversations with Dougal. Father Ted: Dougal, is there anything on your mind? [pause] Father Ted: Let me rephrase that... 12. The Socks. "That's right, Dougal. You see, ordinary shops sell what look like black socks, but if you look closely, you'll see that they're very, very, very, very, very, very, very dark blue." 13. The Account. "That money was just resting in my account!" 14. The Controversial Statement. "But of course, they all have lovely bottoms." 15. Father Jack's History. Dougal "Did you tell me before that Jack had trials for Liverpool?" Ted "No no I said he was ON trial in Liverpool" 16. Christmas! "You've changed from your original prediction. What was it again? Ruud Gullit sitting on a shed." Thanks to Anita Caricatures for sending this epic artwork onto us via Facebook.