Rule Of Thumb: 10 Tips To Ensure You’re The Perfect Sexter

Some people argue that technology is ruining our lives and taking us away from proper communication with others, which is true, to a certain extent.  We cannot disagree that mobile phones can cause a lack of conversation at the dinner table, on the commute or even just walking down the street, however without the cellular device you could never have the opportunity to put your James Joyce erotic literary skills into practice. Sexting is something that we all do and some of us find it much easier to put our dirty thoughts into text messages than others. Whether you play strip poker, enjoy a game of naked charades, or want a 21^st century pen pal with a difference, here are our top 10 tips to help you with your sexting woes.   1. Keep Your Privates Private. Ladies do not be making the same mistakes that many of our celebrity peers have (and keep repeating), do not go posting a picture of Thelma & Louise to the lad you’re texting because he really wants to see your boobs. Rumour has it that it only takes one screenshot to ruin Mary Magdalene’s reputation.   2. Frankie Says… RELAX! Sexting it suppose to be enjoyable, after all it is all to do with the craic. Don’t get uptight if someone tries to navigate the conversation down sexting avenue. Go with it, if you don’t take pleasure in someone wanting to pleasure you then at least you can say you have tried it out.   3. Clear The Crime Scene At some stage in your life you’ve had that nosey friend who pick up your mobile phone and read text messages in your absence. So it goes without saying that having said friend read through average texts to male suitors being embarrassing enough make sure they don’t get more than they bargained for. There is no need for your phone to also act as poor man’s erotic kindle.   4. Guess Who?! Do not sext someone you have never met in person. We repeat, do not engage in texting of the sexual nature with a person you’ve never even shared initial pleasantries with. What we’re trying to say is, never ever sext over Tinder, Plenty of Fish, Facebook chat or the likes.   5. Don't Sext And Drive It is probably best not to interact explicitly over SMS with someone whose joystick has yet to be introduced to your gearbox. We do advise to wait until after the horizontal dance before you get fast and furious with your fingers… on the telephone people, ON THE TELEPHONE.   6. Slow And Steady Wins The Race As the old saying goes, a man won’t buy the ice-cream van if he gets the popsicles for free. Okay we have altered that saying a little but the basic underlying principle applies. Men and women enjoy the chase; don’t give the game away too quickly. Take time with sexting, much like sex sometimes when it’s slower, it last longer and is more enjoyable.   7. Lost In Translation Make sure you’re both on the same page; this is crucial when having consensual sexual texting relations. Steer clear of acronyms. Did James Joyce ever tell Nora Barnacle what he wished to do to her body and then write ‘lol’. The answer to that is of course, no, neigh, NEVER! Avoid abbreviation and slang at all cost, unless you want a short-lived romance.   8. Repetitive Strain Injury (To Your Ego) To paraphrase our friends across the water in the US, don’t go “blowing up” your potential suitors phone with a number of sexts. If they don’t reply, they haven’t lost their phone and your message definitely has not somehow “gotten lost” in cyber space. They’re ignoring you, place you good underwear back in the drawer, save your thumbs (and ego) from repetitive injury and step away from the phone.   9. Don’t Send Adam A Picture Of Your Eve Just because you don’t send Adam a picture of your Eve does not mean you are no good at sexting, it means that you fully understand the term sexting. It is about the written content, you don’t see any pictures in E.L. James ’50 Shades Of Grey’, though that being we wouldn’t exactly complain if they pictures were off leading gentleman Jamie Dornan.   10. Flanter Flanter does exactly what it says on the tin. Flirtatious banter cannot ever be taken as something more than what its description reads on the Urban Dictionary (see above). Enjoy yourself and the ride while the sexting lasts.